A Letter To Someone Who Doesn’t Care That I Exist

It’s like yelling at the top of my lungs, out of an open window…

… I know that you don’t care, what I have to say

That I love you, feel for you

The extremes of emotion, that I go through with you

There are days when you and I are best friends

There are days when I’m a nobody to you

And there are days when I’m only a convenience to you

We used to be lovers, but now you’ve decided

That we are only “friends”, whatever that means

To me, it feels like being your friend means being there only when you need me to be

And not being there when you don’t…

Being your friend, is to compete with every other human being

Who has your attention, your smile, your giggle, your laugh

And when the fleeting moment comes, that I get my “turn”

To have your attention, your look as you face me

I feel like a lovesick puppy, jumping up and down

Whimpering for your love

That you don’t care, as you stare at your phone

While I sit next to you, feeling stupid

Waiting for something… for what

For your brief attention, as you ask me for a pen and paper

Is that what I am to you now… an assistant?

Why do you to this, to me

Or… am I really just doing THIS, to myself?

It’s so simple —

Why can’t you just love me…

em