From “daddy” to “Daddy!” and back

May 30, 2016

My paternity leave is over. On my walk to the train it’s 5:30am and my summer weight shirt is being sweat through from the inside and lightly rained on from the outside. Despite the attack from within and without, there is no relief and the sweat coninues. The rain picks up and when I look in my bag contemplating a rain jacket I come across my winter gloves: five weeks off has been longer than it felt. A lot has changed.

In spite of Jen’s frequent hints, there are no more kids or paternity leaves in the plan. We started on a family quickly but we met late, especially in my case. Sleep has been upside down in our family for a while and when I left the house, everyone was already up, Ben (almost 3) enjoying his morning dose of Curious George and Owen (almost 1) mounting any and all forms of escape (from the exersaucer, Jen’s arms, the current room, and eventually trying to escape even Jen’s gaze).

Even before leaving the house this morning, I was already at some remove. The kids’ early morning antics suddenly seemed lovely and bore none of the sting that they had in previous weeks — similar in a way to the way my parents see them when they come over. Of course I’m still the father and husband but I already feel like a bit more of a tourist. I hope that when I return home at the end of the day today, I will have retained the title of Daddy! that I’d recently graduated to from simply “daddy”.