The Love We’re Given

This is the age to fall in love while the concept itself is not yet jaded. I see the unnecessary pain and suffering my friend goes through the trouble to find ambiguous love. Just like every other concepts in our lives, everyone has their own definition of it.

Is it true that when we were kids we didn’t have an idea what love was like? Do we now? No, not really. Maybe only until you have found your first love you understand the idea of what love is like to an extent. The trouble is your lover become a template or a criteria for the following lovers. What if you found someone who is so unique, are you stuck in the world where no one is good enough for you. I don’t think so. No one is that unique. When you’re in love with a person you’re in love with the idea of that person. The image of that person in your head. The concept of love itself is a miniature of a higher concept that humans don’t even understand. When my friend told me she looks for a person of the same sort of her first love and she feels constant dissatisfaction, I didn’t know what to tell her. We’re in this world too briefly to understand all of that all too well. If you implant such ideas in your mind, you will never find happiness. My point is you can be a hopeless romantic but if you want to be happy you have to be very lucky. Creating a perfect person in your mind and making it an excuse for your insatiable need for an ideal love is worst than believing in happily ever after. This is true because you can’t justify whether or not that concept is real. You can chase such a ideology in a positive light. Comparing everyone to your ideal prince charming is chasing something that might not even exist in a negative light.

Next up, second hopeless romantic story. Could it be that we fall in love so much with the idea of being with someone when we can’t actually be with them? Yes, in our mind it seems so perfect without the light of reality. Reality is ugly, it ain’t no disney. Hence, the reason why I cringe when I hear my friend talk about his ex who left him and long forgot about him. Sometimes when you don’t find other people who is compatible to you as your other past ones, you subconsciously put your past lovers on a pedal stool. Or if we want to talk about the first hopeless romantic story above, this friend of mine maybe chasing for the standard of the previous lover. No, don’t fall into that trap.

Our love life is a life long journey. I understand why some of the girls I talk to think about marriage and family life right off the bat when qualifying a guy. However, you need to accept the idea that the likelihood of that is small especially if you’re still young. You’re love life doesn’t start only when you found the right person and settle down with a family. Your life is now. In fact, that’s the only time your life is real. Acknowledge all your lovers, no matter how the rough the path have been. You are now a part of each others’ journey even if that’s as far as you each would go.