Self Care for Black Women

Self care is important for all people.

It is especially critical for Black women because we are dying at higher rates. Black women suffer because of systemic inequities, racism, discrimination, bigotry, misogyny, oppression, generational trauma, abuse, stress, heartache, broken spirits, and so many other reasons. We give so much of ourselves to others and we often fail to focus on our own care and healing. We try to be everything to everyone and we sometimes forget about ourselves.

In order to save ourselves, we must prioritize our health. There are many ways we can participate in #SelfCare. Such as meditation, yoga, eating more fruits and vegetables (less/no meat & less carbs), drinking more water, exercising, and connecting to our spiritual beings in creative ways (prayer, rituals, and religious practices).

“The love of the family, the love of one person can heal. It heals the scars left by a larger society.” Dr. Maya Angelou

If you love the #BlackWoman, invest in her care. If she is struggling with past pain and trauma, encourage her to seek therapy. If she needs a break from children, give her time away. Surprise her with the gift of a spa visit so she may be pampered and feel special. Do all kinds of acts of service and present her with meaningful gifts to show her you care. Some of the most thoughtful gifts are handmade and no/low cost. Speak uplifting words to her to affirm her greatness. Loving a Black woman requires you to invest in her with your time, care, attention and for her to know that she matters.

#BlackWomenMatter

Black women must also invest in themselves. We must focus on being self aware and accepting of our own beauty and glory. We must love ourselves. It is critical for us to prioritize our own healing and recovery. In order for someone to truly love us profoundly, we must be whole, healed, and complete.

Below are 50 self care routines to become the best person you can be for yourself:

1) Write your all of your affirmations on an index card. Tape an affirmation on your bathroom mirror and read it every morning for a week while you brush your teeth.

Every week you will replace the taped affirmation with a new one.

2) For positive energy in your sanctuary (home), routinely sage your home (especially after you have guests and other visitors).

3) Take hot shower then leave your body wet and sage your naked body. Massage aromatic oil on your body and then soak in the tub. Meditate on your hopes and dreams while in the bath.

4) Write the painful parts of your life story on paper. Write every negative and bad thing that ever happened to you. Read it in your mind. Read it out loud. Cry hard. Burn the paper (be safe) outside under the full moon. Release your pain.

5) Practice yoga and meditation everyday for 30 minutes.

6) Therapy is good for you. Go to therapy every other week or once a month.

7) Light candles in a sacred place in your home, surround them around your body as you comfortably sit, stand, or lay down.

Pray or meditate. Create intention for what you want in your life.

8 ) Keep a private journal only for you to express yourself. Write in your journal everyday. Keep it locked it in a safe place for you. You may want to share parts of your journal with your therapist and/or life partner. Your journal is mainly just for you to release and process your life.

9) Walk in nature. Listen to the sounds and observe the animal and plant life.

10) Go to a spa. Get a pedicure, manicure, and massage.

11) Have an intense workout at least 3 days a week for 30–45 minutes each session.

12) Sit in a sauna and sweat out your past. Release the impurities from your body and intentionally sit with what you are releasing and why. Take a shower and start again.

13) Call someone you hurt (intentionally or unintentionally). Admit your wrong doing, tell the truth, and take responsibility for the hurt you caused. Ask for forgiveness. Whether they say they forgive you or not, never repeat the same mistake again. You must learn to stop hurting people and do better by not repeating negative behaviors.

14) Do a gardening project around your home. Smell the flowers.

15) Go to a concert of your favorite artist and sing the songs. Have fun!

16) Drink wine and eat popcorn while watching your favorite movie at home.

17) Go to a public botanical garden and admire the beautiful plants and flowers.

18) Go to a museum. Explore the expression in the art and discuss it with someone.

19) Take a shower and cry out your sadness as the water hits your skin. Cry hard. When you are finished, dry off your body and move forward with your life.

20) Go dancing.

21) Caress your pet and talk to it. Your pet will love the attention and you will love how you feel too.

22) Hike in the woods.

23) Visit waterfalls and meditate as you listen to the sounds of the water. Be at peace.

24) If you can, walk naked in your home and sleep naked in your bed. There is something so liberating in nakedness.

25) Visit with a trusted friend. Share, talk, laugh, and hug.

26) Go on a relaxing beach vacation.

27) Volunteer and do community service. When you give to others you also give to yourself.

28) Pray.

29) Fellowship in the affinity of like minded people.

30) Learn a new skill you have always wanted to learn.

31) Walk your dog in a park.

32) Read a book.

33) Drink tea in silence. Each sip of your tea is a new intention.

34) Call someone and ask how they are doing.

35) Eat ice cream, gelato, or an icy. Enjoy every sweet bite/slurp.

36) Get a facial and a head and foot massage.

37) Build something. Create something. Draw/Paint something.

38) Write your dreams and aspirations on paper. Frame it and put it somewhere you can see it.

39) Do a vision board and meditate on what you need to do to make it a reality.

40) Do something you have always wanted to do. Stop making excuses and coming up with reasons why you can’t do it. Just do it!

41) Massage your body with your favorite aromatic oil, and say all of the good qualities you have. Touch and love yourself.

42) Learn how to love and please yourself. Masterbate.

43) Listen to music and sing your favorite songs (out loud).

44) Support artists. Purchase their work, attend their shows, and participate in their expressions.

45) Smile and laugh out loud.

46) Do random acts of kindness.

47) Face your fear and do something you have never done before. Be courageous.

48) Make a decision you have been avoiding. Be confident in your decisiveness.

49) Make passionate love with your one true love.

50) Plant trees.

© 9/2019 — Dr. Tarece

#HowToDateLoveAndCommitToABlackWoman