We Belong — JOC
“How are you Jewish?”
“Did you convert?”
“Why are you here?”
“Are you married to a Jew?”
“Why would you choose to be another “minority”?”
“Who are these children?”
“Why did you convert?”
“Do you know Hebrew?”
“Is your Mom Jewish?”
“Are you adopted?”
“Are you mixed?”
“When did you become Jewish?”
“Have you been to Israel?”
Multicultural Jews don’t prefer to be asked these questions when we first meet someone. Many Jews believe people with darker skin or non-Europeans or non-Middle Easterners are not Jewish. Jews come from all over the world and in fact, Judaism has deep roots in Africa and Egypt, and spread throughout the world to Asia, Europe, and the Middle East. So when people ask us, “Why are you here?” or “How are you Jewish?” we are offended.
We always belonged and some of us are reconnecting to our roots, to who we truly are and how we feel. Some of us were born Jewish, married a Jewish person, converted, adopted multicultural children, live jew-ish, or have multifaith families. We understand that we may look/be different from the majority of the people at some Synagogues, we may even celebrate the holidays differently (based on our cultural/geographic influences), but we are all Jewish. Hashem is reflected in all of us. Please don’t ask us these questions! We belong and so do you.
If you want to learn more about us, be respectful. Take the time to get to know us and do not be fixated on how or why we are Jewish.
It is against Halacha to ask how someone is Jewish.
Below are 5 respectful ways to embrace a multicultural Jew:
1) Be empathetic
Try to put yourself in our shoes and understand how we may feel. Multicultural Jews deal with microaggressions from Jews and non-Jews all of the time. It is difficult to continuously have to deal with bias and prejudices in and outside of our community. Try not to stare and watch the multicultural person at service or at a Jewish event. Try not to be so preoccupied with their presence, knowledge of rituals, Hebrew fluency, etc. Try to understand the unintentional impact you make on someone who is different from you or the majority of the people in the room.
2) Be kind
Smile and approach a multicultural Jew to make them feel welcome. Do not ask them questions about how or why or when they are/became Jewish. Talk about other topics like the synagogue, the sermon, food, music, upcoming events, and high holidays.
3) Develop a relationship
Learning about another person may take time, but be patient. Invite them to Shabbat dinner at your home. If you are truly interested, you will eventually learn about and understand the how’s and why’s of the multicultural Jewish person. They may reveal things about themselves, their history, and their families that may surprise you. If you are respectful and trustworthy, you will truly get to know the multicultural person of interest to you.
4) Include in the community
Engage multicultural Jewish members to participate in services, programs, and events at synagogue. Allow them to participate in reading, singing, holding and carrying the Torah, speaking at an event, teaching, etc. They need to stand on the bema, teach at Sunday school, work in the offices of synagogues, be employed at Jewish day schools, and work at summer camps, etc. Inclusive and equitable practices will provide opportunities to engage diversity in the Jewish community as well as help others to see that Jews do not all look the same, yet they are Jewish. Also allowing multicultural Jews to participate in distinct culturally traditional ways does not make it wrong, but “doing” Jewish based on one’s geographic and historical experiences are important to edify the Jewish people to accept and respect Jewish differences. This visual, auditory, and interactive exposure helps others witness and appreciate that Jews many not look all the same, but nonetheless they are Jewish.
5) Educate yourself
Read, listen, and be open. Learn and understand more about the Jewish diaspora. Conduct research to gain more information on Jewish people from around the globe. Read books, read blogs and posts from multicultural Jews, scour the internet for interesting diversity articles. Learn as much as you can about diversity and inclusion, as this will help you be a better individual. Teach your children what you are learning. Share what you are learning with family and friends during Shabbat dinners, seders, Torah study, and other social events. Purposefully educate yourself and your children on Jewish diversity and the result will be a conscious awareness, appreciation, acceptance, and respect for others who are different from and similar to you.
