I didn’t advance to the next round, now what?

It was February 2021. I had just entered my second semester of college. Since 12 years ago, I have started to like K-pop culture because I heard songs from BigBang, SNSD, to EXO which were famous at that time. Because of my great interest in it, in the first year of junior high school, I learned Korean by myself through Youtube. To cut a long story short, from junior high to high school, I was often asked to teach the simple Korean I was learning to my friends.

In an attempt, so I can speak Korean passively, I watch a lot of Korean Dramas and Korean Variety Shows. I enjoyed the process because I have a goal to be able to understand Korean Drama without using subtitles. Guess what? I achieved that goal on 2014. My hard work paid off.

At the same time, the desire to be able to go on vacation, learn a new culture, and interact with Koreans has grown over time. I have been dreaming to be able to travel to South Korea for the past 11 years.

Since I was a student, I started looking for opportunities to experience and learn the culture and customs of other countries by participating in fully-funded programs provided by several communities or organizations. The programs also vary from seminars, and conferences, to cultural exchange programs. I can’t freely apply to all existing programs because I have to adjust whether it coincides with my lecture activities or not. So I will spend some time deciding to sign up for a program.

I still vividly remember, the first attempt I made to make this dream come true. In June 2021, registration for the cultural exchange program to South Korea has been opened, with six months remaining until its implementation. Without a second thought, I applied for it, paid the registration fee, and did a test interview. I want to be honest, I have had big hope for this program.

I closed my eyes and imagined myself walking in a traditional market in South Korea, talking to Koreans, eating Hotteok in the cold, and feeling that cold air while strolling around by myself on South Korean street. Not gonna lie, it felt so real when I close my eyes. Without realizing it, I’ve been smiling to myself for five minutes ago while doing this. A little bit of fun fact about this is I do this regularly until now! It just feels so nice doing things that all this time was just a dream.

But well, as you can see in the title, I didn’t get the opportunity.

Devastated? I am. Disappointed? Of course.

Do I stay there? No, I am not.

I believe that I will get it eventually in God’s time and God’s way. There is only a delay in the result. Maybe God wants me to cultivate more patience, grow closer to Him, and “chit-chat” with Him more frequently.

A few months goes by, I came across One Young World. Because of my great interest in current issues in the world, I tried to get out of my comfort zone to register for the global forum for young leaders. I tried to apply for a scholarship for the One Young World program. Not just one program, but I signed up for several programs that cover the cost of air tickets, accommodation, and consumption there. After completing all the requirements, I applied for it in October and November 2021 with the details that shortlisted applicants will be noticed in January 2022.

Yes, you are right.

Almost every day I imagine myself in the venue, talking to a lot of people who are experts in their field, and sharing my opinion there. January 2022 has arrived. However, the results have not yet come. Until March and April 2022 the results came out.

Yes, my long wait for the results did not bring good news. I was so sad, I felt so helpless myself. A lot of “why” came out of my mouth for some time which seemed to go very slowly.

Well, I would be lying if I said it was easy to cope with that. I reflect on this and try to stop using my understanding and strength, so I try to reach out to other people around me.

For some reason, the words “there will be a better opportunity”, “you can certainly do it”, to “this too shall pass” are not able to help reduce the feeling of disappointment.

At that time, it seems that a saying that says “time will heal the pain” doesn’t work for me. But as time goes by, as I move on to my routine, and share my story with other people, gain strength from them, I kinda get the feeling that maybe that saying could be right.

Now, I took that experience, as a moment where I got a chance to be a tougher version of myself, bringing the best out of me, and proving it to the world.

In June 2022, I came across a program called ASEAN Seeds for the Future. It is a program hosted by ASEAN x Huawei that invite ASEAN aspiring youth to join a 10-day training program in Bangkok and Hua Hin, from 18–28 August 2022, to hone their digital skills, build connections, showcase their creative ideas, and improve their career prospects.

As I said before, I’m trying hard to not linger on my kinda sad experience. I challenge myself again to bring the best out of myself.

I have prepared all the required documents with care and careful consideration. I went back and forth from campus to take care of the academic transcript, which turned out to have incorrect data in several parts. Until finally, I applied for it on the last day of June 2022, and here was information that the shortlisted applicants will be announced in mid-July.

I bet you already know what I did in those moments.

You’re right!

I closed my eyes again, picturing myself learning from the expert during that program, meeting a lot of new friends from other countries in ASEAN, sharing my acquired knowledge from this program, and making an impact in my environment.

The “exciting” part doesn’t last long and the announcement came on July 25th.

It happened, again.

It was real, my heart was sinking. I felt that “drop”.

The “Am I lacking at this part” and “On what point should I improve myself?” kept playing in my head. I can’t seem to find the correct answer.

I kept self-questioning myself. In what part I can upgrade myself so that I can get up and prove that I can pass through this valley?

I’m not staying there, I have a new game plan that I believe will help me get along with this feeling. So, I asked them for a suggestion regarding my application that I could improve next time in this kind of program.

I learned that even though I wasn’t selected for the program, I have the essential thing that I believe will grow better over time. Like I said before, I’m still on my bring the best out of my journey. So, I don’t stay there for long and try my best to move on in my journey of bringing the best out of me.

Another thing I got from sharing my thoughts with other people instead of letting them consume me is I got confidence. I get to grow my mindset that if other people believed in me so why in the world do I have to doubt myself?

Taking a step back is as necessary as moving forward.

That is why, I do this consistently these days to make sure I know every nook and cranny of myself because I believe this is a crucial part that many people missed.

I’m thankful for my struggle because without it I wouldn’t have stumbled across my strength. -Anonymous

See ya when I see ya!