Here’s what I went through & how you can learn from it.
I apologise in advance for disappointing you.
You’ll find that I didn’t land my first million in 2022, and neither did I leave the country for the US or marry the rich alhaji of my dreams.
What am I saying? I’ve been slaving away at the food factory, cooking and washing plates all December because I offended the gods by being the last child.
But on a more serious note, I had lots of dreams for 2022 but they weren’t specific. Now, I wish they were. I wanted a lot of money but the exact ceiling sum was not certain.
Oh, I recall that I wanted to have nothing less than five streams of income and I did. Also, I wanted to read 24 books but ended up reading about 17. I tried.
Quickly, this review will be in six sections. It will cover;
- Faith
- Skill/Career Development
- Finances
- People
- Love and
- Things
Let’s dig deeper.
1. Faith
I took this year very personally and started with two spiritual activities I’ve never done in previous years. First, I attended WAFBEC. Secondly, I observed a 21-day ritual where I stayed off social media and food. Gentlemen, my eyes saw the Lord. It also saw hunger but I had to chin up. The good side of this was the solitude I experienced. It gave me clarity.
Christian living can be as simple as reading the Bible and praying every day. But consistency isn’t as soft as it sounds. Is it? Somedays I won and on others, let’s say, I stumbled.
I planned on being a church faithful as opposed to the church prostitute of the previous year. I’m glad to announce my win in that regard. I chose and stuck to the Covenant Nation and attended church services every Sunday as opposed to the previous year. I missed services only on a few Sundays. Also took my pastor’s messages personally, practised them and saw results. I tried doing some fasts in subsequent months but my love for food won most of the time. Looking back, I have genuine gratitude for the gift of Pastor Poju Oyemade, a wise and meek teacher of the word and life.
Then tragedy struck.
There was a period I ran away from God. I had gone against my conscience to do evil and felt guilty. But I learned that God is bigger than the pangs of our conscience. That even in my mistakes, He was still my Saviour because I can never save myself.
I learned that every relationship involved vulnerability, a show of weakness and staying true to shameful struggles. If I professed to be in a covenant relationship with God, then I should not only approach Him when I tick all the good girl boxes.
The journey of a Christian on earth can be long and winding. Maintaining a perfect score can only be by the help of the Lord. If our abilities could carry us, then why did the only begotten Son of God have to die to save us? Even after He saved us, do we think we can maintain our salvation through our works? No. It’s not ours to keep by works but all done in and by faith. This reality helped me stay less judgmental of others, but extend grace and meet them with mercy because I have received the same.
2. Skills and Career Prospects
I took a course on social media management in January. As mundane as that sounds, it helped me land my first side hustle for the year. In February, I worked as ad-hoc staff for INEC as the head of a polling unit (Polling Officer). That was one experience I relish so much. Having to take charge of a polling unit, and raise stained ballot papers in the air, while screaming APC, PDP, PD-APC all in the name of vote counting. Even while being protected by armed officers and carried in government vehicles blowing sirens, all made me feel like a local star.
By mid-February, I took up another social media management job. This time, I collaborated with a graphics designer. By June, I took it a notch higher by sending out bi-weekly newsletters to the community. I had to take a course on email marketing and another on the fundamentals of SEO/content writing. Then in July, I got a referral to help another page with written content. There, I began writing semi-technical articles as a ghostwriter. All these were my side hustles.
An old contact reached out to me to carry out research work and write a Master’s thesis in August. (I guess he knew about my writing abilities from my WhatsApp status updates, where I advertised my articles)
These opportunities exposed me to the ropes of negotiation. Every time I was contracted to write, I doubted my skill but threw myself in and learned on the job. I always ended up surprising myself.
With my rising confidence in the writing craft, I raised my fee, twice. The last time, the client argued that he won’t pay and walked away. I felt bad and regretted pricing high; which in reality, wasn’t that high.
But guess what? You can.
He returned and agreed to my fee. I felt big! Glad I aimed to always deliver the best output and let my works speak for me. Content writing gave me a taste of remote work with all its perks and demands of discipline and a good working space.
2022 was my first year practising the business of writing. I built my content writing resume, fixed a pricing structure for each word, identified my worth and rewarded my efforts. I learned to advertise my articles, even when I did not feel like it, because the importance of a network and referral can never be dismissed. I learned that there are no friendships in business and money-making is a game of numbers.
In October, I completed the compulsory NYSC programme in peace and not in pieces. This medium page served as the drawing book where I practised holding my pencil. I found my writing voice here and learned how to weave words and thoughts into tenses and have extra pair of strange eyes purr over them. My audience grew. Having begun the year with about 150 followers, published consistently on Thursdays. I started the monthly NYSC adventures in Abuja publication in January and completed the articles in October, having a few viral posts. I would end the year with about 416 followers and that’s the colour of growth for me! I recommend this platform to any blooming writer.
I almost forgot I was a lawyer in training but for my efforts at writing a winning scholarship essay for law school. I ended up submitting five essays and received three rejection emails. Never have I ever experienced such tragedy.
This year, my aspirations came face to face with my reality. I started bringing my dreams a notch lower as I experienced pure confusion in determining my career pathway. Thankfully, I met it in prayers, journaling and by allowing time to play its magic. I did my part by identifying my core skills, optimizing my CV and stalking organisations of choice. I asked myself practical questions such as, ‘what does it take to arrive at XYZ? Do I have the requisite qualifications? Do I want this? Etc.
Today, I could wake up with a dream of being a full-time writer, another day, I would want to be up the corporate ladder. On some days, I’ll want to get married to a wealthy man and be a housewife.
Well, I felt seen after listening to Twenties Tribe. I learned that experiencing confusion in our twenties is not an odd experience. But the fact remains; I want to have a happy home, wealth and rich relationships.
3. Finances
This year, I identified my spending triggers which were mostly food, people-pleasing and leisure-based. Armed with this knowledge, I promised to do better in my finances.
I started budgeting and aggressively stuck to the same. I saved money with the specific aims of investing, funding big projects and for rainy days. This was a new habit that was alien to my past lifestyle. (I use to fear anything which had to do with money, whether it was negotiating, budgeting or merely talking about it.)
This year, I lived deliberately below my means to avoid finishing each coin earned. I tracked my expenses, trekked short distances, repeated old clothes, made less costly hairstyles and did lots of DIYs. I complemented this lifestyle with a healthy reading culture. I read books on finances. My all-time best is the Art of Money Making by P.T. Barnum. A classic with a few pages.
I’m glad I didn’t have to depend on home or a man for money. Sounds little, but I’m happy that I satisfied my cravings with my earnings. I grew my knowledge bank and hope to learn more about stocks and real estate. I hope to network in that regard, join communities and have mentors. I want to start investing and be called an investor but you know, taking a first step can be tough.
At the year’s end, I calculated my total income, savings and expenditure. I saw the figures and was blown away. The largest ever in my entire years of breathing. I listed the big projects I used the money to acquire and felt myself bloom with pride.
4. People
I started the year on a level I’ll call, ‘friendship-low’. At the time, I had just changed cities and struggled in maintaining my LDR friendships. I communicated this struggle to Sylvia Duruson and Ub Emediong. These two hunted me down in the quiet days of January when I was off social media. Their mid-day calls at work often left me as hyper-excited as a cock on heat period.
Looking back, I’m grateful for my close circle of strong girls who showed up at different times this year. Their random check-in calls made me feel seen and known. I mean, in a world of a million plus persons, I had a few humans ask about my mental well-being.
They gifted me their loyalty, time and resources. Cheered me in my chat boxes and emails, defended me when I reported my boyfriend (an undisputed girl code) and stayed objective when they needed to be.
This year, I hurt from an unreciprocated friendship and subsequent loss. It dawned on me that adult friendships can be difficult and shallow at the same time. We don’t talk often about the expiration of seasonal friends. But this experience taught me that it could be difficult to have many pockets of deep connections. Well, except you’re comfortable bearing vulnerability to a crowd and trying to be there for a lot of people which can be draining.
I grew my bond with the best sister in the world which was a part of my year’s resolution. We shared each other’s pains and tried to make lighter our burdens. I recall one night I got a rejection mail, it happened that she got hers too. That night, when I was about to inform her of mine, she spilt hers. We laughed off our misfortune which was soothing. That was such a profound me-too moment. I drew closer (or he drew closer to me) to my elder brother who has always been away from home. Getting close to him afforded me a different perspective on life from the point of the millennials. Much love to my lovely niece, Imitoiyo. Our chat space became livelier and I loved it.
With the exponential growth on my medium page, I strengthened connections with The Loóre, Zainab, Naimah, and Ndidiamaka Permit me to call them my pen-pals.
5. Love
I won’t deny the fact that we had bitter quarrels and used unkind words to tear each other. But in the midst of these, I saw forgiveness reign. I’ve learned that two love birds can also be two imperfect beings on a journey to perfection.
I now embrace the magic in a sincere “Oh, I’m sorry” and see the priceless effect of “I know you dislike this, so I won’t try it next time” I see the healthy competition in deciding who loves who better and have come to appreciate little efforts at supporting your partner’s hustles which otherwise has no direct impact on your life.
I see the beauty in a committed relationship. When two souls are deliberately saying yes to each other every day, consciously choosing each other and being loyal, even in a disagreement.
Intentionality humbled me and taught me to think not only of myself but the other.
But on some days, the hurt, hurts extra because the ones whom we love the most, hurt us more. It’s the hidden cost of vulnerability and I pray we are always conscious that on the other side of the love coin is intense hurt. I pray that consciousness makes us kinder in words and action.
I now acknowledge this truth; dating is not a stroll in the park and neither is it free. It cost time and other resources. And anyone who desires to give it a try must count these costs before putting one foot in.
6. Things
I acquired my dream phone and was gifted a laptop. These two have improved the quality of my life and my capacity to earn. I had awesome experiences, especially exploring new recipes.
I enjoyed reading lots of newsletters from James Clear, Mark Manson, Ayodeji Awosika, John Obidi’s wisdom letters, Brand storytelling with AWZ, Park Howell and of course, mine.
I decluttered and personalized my IG and Twitter feeds and it made those platforms wholesome. I used notion to set monthly/weekly goals and reviews. Also used a few productivity techniques such as the Pomodoro method and time blocking.
I revelled in weaving my natural hair, having more Ankara clothes, and wearing less makeup. I danced a lot in the dark, enjoyed Cavemen and Passenger’s albums and also enjoyed lots of Netflix with a borrowed password. Played scrabble too, my newfound love. And noticed that the scars on my arms got lighter. How unbelievable.
Zainab influenced me when she wrote about visiting a cinema alone. I followed suit and went to see a movie. Alone.
I cared for a family of 6 grown-ups which is huge. Imagine lifting large pots and basins.
I loved my mom even through some silent, grumbling, errand days. But still grateful for the privilege to have and hold her and provide my imperfect care.
I grew internally. I have struggled with jealousy for most of my consciousness and disliked that social media seemed to make me compare my mundane days with a 26-year-old millionaire living large. But growing comfortable in my reality and staying true to my roots has helped me. I can scroll through IG and see everybody win and feel no pangs of anxiety. Instead, I find myself excited at their success. It’s a renewed freedom for me and an indicator that I’m embracing the differentness of my story.
As I bring this to a close, I’ll note that I’m grateful for hunger and unfulfilled dreams. I am grateful for trials and errors. For without them, I would sit listlessly, watching the world go by.
2022 is past now and I let the wins go. I hope to stay in the present, make the next year my best and become a better girl in 2023 and beyond.
Thank you for reading and have an awesome 2023.
(If you’re a Nigerian, living in Nigeria, please get your PVC and vote wisely)
