The Designer Shares His Schedule

BY Georgianna de la Torre

(With apologies to “MY LIST: KARL LAGERFELD IN 24 HOURS” — Harper’s Bazaar

7:15 A.M. I sleep seven hours and fifteen minutes. If I go to bed at midnight, I wake up at seven fifteen. If I go to bed at eleven forty-five, I am not sure what time it is when I wake up, but it is seven hours and fifteen minutes later. If I wake up before, I might run into my staff, so I don’t do that. I sleep in a 17th-century men’s nightshirt I saw at the Victoria and Albert Museum. When I first laid eyes on it, I imagined wearing it every night. The museum gave it to me, of course. They would have done this even before the guards were called.

The first thing I do when I get up, I have breakfast. My doctor designed the perfect meal to start my day — a poached egg, toasted bread, and one banana. I had the meal photographed by Cartier-Bresson. I look at this photo, and drink a Diet Coke. It sustains me. And the opportunity for being poisoned is greatly reduced.

Then I read. I read twenty newspapers a day. Actual newspapers. I have been reading them since June 5, 2001, the day before PETA attempted to pie me. They missed and hit Calvin Klein instead. Why? He uses no fur? I don’t want to talk about it.

11:00 A.M. I have my hair done. I don’t wash my hair. I am just clean that way. My hair is pulled back from my face and secured at the nape of my neck. I don’t know who does this, or why it takes an hour.

12:00 P.M. I sketch until lunchtime, when I don’t eat lunch. I am lifted into a warm bath — exactly 98 degrees — where three sets of hands wash me and my perfectly white bedding, and my 17th century dressing gown. (I don’t trust these people alone with my linens or my clothes).

2:00 P.M. After air-drying for two hours, I stand up. I do not need help to do this, because I have tremendously strong thigh muscles. I was born with them. Coco Chanel had the same thigh muscles. It is why we are soul mates.

Then I dress. I always wear the same thing — a white shirt, a black jacket, and jeans. I need no help in getting dressed. I can do it all myself. I have limited my style choices to make sure of that. And to keep those people out of my closet. I hate them.

4:00 P.M. I had two drivers and several cars, but this confused me. Now I have one driver and one car. The same driver and the same car. I don’t know the drivers name, or what he looks like. I make him wear a hood and dark glasses. Which makes it difficult for him to drive. I don’t care. Paris is a mystery.

5:00 P.M. We always end the day at my studio. I arrive after everyone has left. My driver stays in the car, of course. I don’t want any witnesses. My work is very conceptual.

9:00 P.M. Dinner bores me. Eating bores me. I did a lot of it in my life. It is not how I want to spend my time. I would rather sit at my window and look at La Tour Eiffel. And there is less chance of poisoning.

11:00 P.M. Time to unwind with my kitten, Choupette. At the height of her kittenhood, I had her stuffed. Look at her — she is lifelike, no? She sits in the window all day and waits for me.

It’s perfect.

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Originally published at on January 4, 2014.

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