The Art of Communication
In a matter of weeks, I will deliver a keynote focused on leader communications and the need for genuine communication in a “digital age.”
I didn’t select the topic, but rather a conference planning committee cobbled it together and invited me to bring my expertise and insight to bear on their idea … And I am genuinely looking forward to doing so, but having spent the last three days at a gathering of leaders, all of whom stand at the helm of complex religious organizations fraught with any number of challenges in the post Church era, I came to the realization that this topic won’t be too helpful if, at the start, the hearers don’t appreciate the idea of genuine conversation offline.
I’ve long argued that all of the masking and public profile grooming aside, people’s behavoir in online spaces by and large is an extension of their best and worst communications tendencies and social behaviors offline.
A boorish, egomaniac with a tendency to grandstand generally turns into such online … the pithy wit who charms the crowd usually carries a certain swagger into social spaces … the lonely soul who struggles to converse comfortably, while perhaps more at ease behind a digital veil, more often than not carries a certain halting hesitancy into his online habitats.
So, if my topic is meant to focus on genuine communications in the digital realm it requires the listeners, among other things, to share some concept of what genuine means in general. At least, that is what I think will be the case.
The reason this not-so-very-profound “a ha” feels so important is that fresh off of my week among a group of (all male, I might add) leaders, I am convinced that genuine communicators are few and far between.
Don’t get me wrong: this group was replete with polished communicators, confident communicators, showy communicators … but:
Genuine: authentic, transparent, honest, candid … This sort of transformational communication requires deep self-awareness and a recognition that it takes time to achieve a two-way authenticity with your “audience.”
Genuine communication is built on a deep skillfulness at conscious listening.
It is rooted in an abiding appreciation for the art of dialogue.
It loves being curious more than being right.
It elevates the other. Not seeking for total agreement, but striving to share genuine understanding.
There is a troubling lack of genuine communication among many leaders, and before we can help them engage winsomely in online social spaces, there is work to be done.