Growth is painful and erratic.
Sometimes you’re better offer suffering through relying on your own experience, the problem, and its related documentation than googling solutions (at least when its a learning exercise).
In my experience, the things that were the most painfully frustrating to learn seem to stick permamently.
I think the difficulty when you are very new to everything is knowing how big if a project to take on and go solo with. I think we tend to be overly ambitious then get down on ourselves because we can’t pull it off. Start smaller. Take a tutorial and add similar functionality with a twist to the app, all on your own, etc. That sort of stuff.