A Letter to my Uncle (a retired State Trooper) about the Minnesota Lynx and Black Lives Matter

Uncle Mike,

I’d like to respond to the comments you made on Facebook in regards to the picture of the Minnesota Lynx players wearing the warm up shirts honoring the recent victims of gun violence. I’ve taken some time to gather my thoughts before responding to your comments. I wanted to respond in a careful and deliberate manner and I thought it would be best to respond through a means other than Facebook. I found your comments to be puzzling and troubling. I’d like to offer some thoughts.

I want to preface these thoughts by saying very clearly that I value our relationship a great deal. You are my uncle and I love you. One of my favorite memories of you is the time you pulled me over on Interstate 270 just to mess with me way back when I was still in high school. Over the years since I moved away from St. Louis you have made a consistent effort to have a real conversation with me when I have come home to visit. You always make a point to pull me aside and ask me what is going on in my life and how I am doing. Thank you for that. It has meant a great deal to me. I don’t believe I’ve ever told you just how much that has meant.

This letter is in no way intended as an attack on you. I feel a need to explain why I posted that picture, why I respect the stand taken by the Lynx, and why I believe the Black Lives Matter movement is important. I hope you will consider this an invitation to further discuss these issues. I would very much appreciate hearing your perspective as a law enforcement officer, as a citizen, as a father, and yes as an uncle. You and I have experienced the world in very different ways. We have been on different sides of the protest lines but that does not automatically mean that we want different things. Even with our differences I believe that we share common ground. I hope that you will accept my invitation to engage with me in a dialogue around these issues. I think that with our different experiences, backgrounds, and world views we have a unique opportunity to perhaps uncover some kernel of truth, some nugget of understanding that we can share with our family, our friends, and perhaps the nation to constructively help move the conversation forward. I believe this is possible and I am willing to try. At the very least perhaps you and I can come to a greater understanding of each other and there is certainly value in that.

I’ve noticed recently that often times when these issues are discussed on social media people say things like “If you disagree with me than delete me now” or “Unfriend me if you don’t agree”. I don’t see that as an option here. I don’t want to delete a relationship with my uncle that I value. However I do disagree with your statements and I feel a need to say so. Personally I believe that having these uncomfortable conversations with people you love is of vital importance to resolving these issues. People are dying. The least I can do is have an uncomfortable conversation. I am going to do my best to respond to your comments from a place of love.

From Jesse Owens to Jackie Robinson to Muhammad Ali to John Carlos and Tommie Smith to Kareem Abdul-Jabbar to Bill Russell to David Meggyesy to Curt Flood to Roberto Clemente to Arthur Ashe to Billie Jean King to Etan Thomas to Toni Smith to Chris Kluwe to the 2015 University of Missouri Football Tigers to Serena Williams, and now the Minnesota Lynx, Carmelo Anthony, Chris Paul, Dwayne Wade, and Lebron James, there is a rich history in this country of athletes using their prominence as a platform to make a stand for what is right. I have much respect for athletes that take such action. As a citizen and as a sports fan I find these moments to be extraordinarily compelling. Sports and the athletes that participate in them do not exist in a vacuum. They exist in the context of a complex and often confusing world. Actions such as these can jolt the observer out of their usual ways of thinking and have real potential to help bring about necessary change. The fact that we are having this exchange is evidence that these actions are effective. It is significant that these actions are usually taken by female athletes and athletes of color. It is significant that the most vocal critics of these actions are typically white men telling the female athletes and the athletes of color who have made a stand that they ought to know better. They should know their place. They should keep their mouths shut and simply play ball. Their actions are “Shameful”. This in and of itself reveals bias and is further evidence of the effectiveness of these actions.

I’ll respond to your question about the shirts. You asked “Wonder what shirt they are wearing for the five officers brutally killed and the seven officers injured in Dallas?” Take a closer look at their shirts. Do you see the star logo below Mr. Sterling’s name? That is the emblem for the Dallas Police Department. Had you listened to the press conference where this photo was taken you would have heard forward Rebekkah Brunson say:

“In the wake of the tragedies that have continued to plague our society we have decided it is important to take a stand and raise our voices. Racial profiling is a problem. Senseless violence is a problem. The divide is way too big between our communities and those who have vowed to protect and serve us.

…If we take this time to see that this is a human issue and speak out together we can greatly decrease fear and create change. Tonight we’ll be wearing shirts to honor and mourn the loss of precious American citizens and to plead for change in all of us.”

And you would have heard forward Maya Moore say:

“So you’ll see on the backs of our shirts that we’re highlighting a long time problem of racial profiling and unjust violence against blacks in our country but we do not in anyway condone violence against the men and women who serve on our police force. Senseless violence and retaliation will not bring us peace. One aspect of our team’s culture is accountability It’s kept us strong over the years. We as leaders try to hold ourselves and others accountable to the things that we value as an organization and as a family. We value a strong work ethic, enthusiasm in all that we do, and we play team basketball. This commitment keeps our egos in check and it allows for all of us to flourish as a unit. Can we as a community especially our leaders have accountability in owning our weaknesses and really humble ourselves to realize the conviction that we must improve the realities of justice freedom and safety for all people? It’s tragic that one of the police departments that are actually leading the way in positive change, the Dallas PD, was a victim of such a senseless ambush. The Dallas mayor and police chief have lead the way in deescalation training and other efforts that have led to a noticeable drop in shootings by its officers in the last few years. So its clear that education and exposure grounded in compassion for one another is called for by our leaders. We as a nation can decide to stand up for what is right no matter your race, background, and social status. It is time that we take a deep look at our ability to be compassionate and empathetic to those suffering from the problems that are deep within our society. Again this is a human issue and we need to speak out for change together.”

I don’t see how these are sentiments that any rational person can disagree with.

The shirts in the picture were honoring not only Mr. Sterling and Mr. Castile but also the officers in Dallas who were killed and injured. I see and hear nothing in the words and actions of these women that in anyway dishonors the officers who lost their lives in Dallas. Truthfully that would have still been the case had the Dallas PD emblem not been included on their shirts and the tragedy in Dallas not been mentioned at their press conference. Support of one group does not imply criticism of another. Honoring two men who died at the hands of the police does not mean one is celebrating or condoning the murder of police officers.

As it is I’d say the Lynx did an admirable job of honoring those officers along with Alton Sterling and Philando Castille in an attempt to bridge the obvious and deadly divide between communities and law enforcement that Rebekkah Brunson mentioned. What happened in Dallas was an awful and unnecessary tragedy. The Minnesota Lynx were not claiming otherwise and neither am I. But it does not cancel out the equally awful and unnecessary tragedies that ended the lives of Alton Sterling, Philando Castille, Amadou Diallo, Oscar Grant, Eric Garner, Michael Brown, Freddie Gray, Tamir Rice, Sandra Bland, Walter Scott, Laquan McDonald, Deravis Caine Rogers, Delrawn Small, and all of the other people of color who have lost their lives at the hands of the police. What happened in Dallas doesn’t make these issues go away and it certainly doesn’t let the police off the hook.

You commented that my friends and I don’t care about the officers who were killed and injured. You are my uncle and I love you but I’m not going to let you speak about me or to me in that way. I have treated you with respect my entire life. I deserve the same.

You’ve known me my whole life. Do you really think that I would advocate for, condone, celebrate, support, or in anyway be okay with the brutal murder of anyone? Do you really think that I would associate with anyone who would advocate for, condone, celebrate, support, or in anyway be okay with the brutal murder of anyone? Had the events that occurred in Dallas taken place in the St. Louis area before you retired as a state trooper you could have been targeted in that attack. That fact is not lost on me. Do you really think that I could in any way be okay with your murder? Do you really think so little of me? Do you actually believe that I think so little of you? Of course you don’t.

That t-shirt made you so uncomfortable that instead of really looking at why it made you feel that way you jumped to the ridiculous notion that your nephew who I believe you know to be a peace loving, kind, compassionate, gentle person could somehow be okay with the brutal murder of those officers. Let me state plainly that I am against people killing other people. I support people NOT killing other people. Simple as that. I think you owe me an apology but what I am asking from you instead is some honest self reflection on your part as to why you would react in that way.

You seem to approach this subject with the mindset that to support Black Lives Matter is to somehow by default be against the police. I find this line of thinking puzzling but also revealing. I say this not to single you out or to point fingers but because I think it is reflective of the overall mindset of law enforcement (as well as a good percentage of our citizenry and public officials) and their response to Black Lives Matter and their supporters. This mindset is based on a false cause and effect relationship that to support one thing is to automatically condemn another. There is a gap in the logic that to my mind reveals a lack of critical thinking. It is a knee jerk reaction that allows one to ignore the message that is being conveyed because the reality of that message makes one uncomfortable.

If Black Lives Matter and their supporters are inherently anti-police then you don’t have to actually listen to what they are saying. This is evidenced by the fact that without listening to what these women actually said you condemned and shamed them for speaking up and standing up. This is evidenced by the cops who walked off of their job working the security detail at the Lynx game that night. This is evidenced by the continued failure of law enforcement to seriously listen to and address these issues or to even admit there is a problem. This is evidenced by the overwhelming, unnecessary, and dangerous militarized police presence at street demonstrations.

If Black Lives Matter and their supporters aren’t inherently anti-police (which they aren’t) and actually have legitimate criticism (which they do) then all of us are going to have to take a long hard look at some ugly truths about ourselves and our society and decide if we are okay with them or not. If we decide that we are okay with those ugly truths and that nothing needs to change then we have to understand that not everyone will be okay with that and there will be backlash. If we decide that we are not okay with those ugly truths than we’ve got a lot of work to do. This is especially true of anyone in law enforcement and public office.

I get it. Believe me I get it. Taking a long hard look at ugly truths about ourselves is difficult. It’s painful. It’s not easy to admit that we have a problem. It’s not easy to admit that we’re wrong and that we’ve been wrong for hundreds of years. It is much easier to demonize or ignore the folks that are desperately trying to tell us that something is terribly wrong. But shouldn’t lives should matter more than feelings? While we continue to ignore the uncomfortable facts bodies are piling up at our feet. There is undeniably a problem with police violence in this country. It is undeniable that this problem disproportionately affects people of color. It is undeniable that we live in a racist society. These are facts and as such they are not open to debate. The idea that they are is dangerously ridiculous and it needs to be called out as such.

Inevitably it seems that in these conversations the idea is brought up that Black Lives Matter is a racist hate group who’s efforts are making the police targets or a domestic terrorist organization waging a war on the police. I’m not saying that you are making this claim. I am choosing to pre-empt the argument for others who may read this. This idea is also ridiculous and needs to be called out as such.

The idea that there is war being waged against the police is simply not supported by the statistics. The number of officers killed in the line of duty has been in steady decline since the Reagan Administration. Over the past century the safest two years for police officers in terms of being killed on duty were 2013 and 2015 which actually coincides with the beginnings of Black Lives Matter. According to Federal Bureau of Labor statistics garbage collectors, electrical workers, construction workers, taxi drivers, landscapers, and bartenders are all more likely than police officers to die on the job. According to CDC and FBI statistics a preschooler is more likely to be shot and killed than a police officer. If Black Lives Matter is waging a war on the police they are doing a terrible job. I’m not saying that police work is not dangerous. I’m not saying that police work isn’t important. I’m saying that context matters. The idea that there is a war on police simply isn’t true.

I attended a Black Lives Matter meeting recently and I’d like to tell you what I witnessed. They have committees on education, criminal justice reform, health, economics, housing, transportation, and civics. They are working towards community based solutions in these key areas where people of color have in large part been left behind by society. I heard no talk of a war against police. I heard no one inciting violence. I felt no hate directed towards me because of the color of my skin. I saw no hate. I heard no hate. What I saw and what I heard were mothers, fathers, grandparents, children, aunts, uncles, cousins, neighbors, elders, and teachers trying their best to take care of each other. I saw a lot of tears. I saw a lot of beauty. I saw a lot of love. I saw a lot of pain. I saw a lot of grace. I saw people who just want to live their lives. I saw democracy in action. I saw the living breathing embodiment of what this country claims to be but has never truly been. I saw brave citizens who despite being scared, angry, confused, frustrated, in pain, and oh so tired of all of this fighting for their very lives and the dignity that this country claims to promise.

Black Lives Matter is not perfect. No individual person and no human organization is perfect. That does not mean that the issues they are calling to our attention are not valid and it certainly does not mean that they are domestic terrorists or a racist hate group.

The last word of your comments was “Shameful!”. No matter how uncomfortable it makes you The Minnesota Lynx were standing up for what is right. The folks with Black Lives Matter are standing up for what is right. The folks demonstrating on the streets in Baton Rouge are standing up for what is right. The folks demonstrating on the streets in the Twin Cities are standing up for what is right. I do have friends that are participating in those demonstrations. I am proud of them and I love them. If I still lived in Minneapolis I would be in the streets with them. I will continue to share the glimpses of those demonstrations that they are sharing because it is important for the reality of those situations to be known. I know from first hand experience that mainstream media does not portray these type of events accurately. As for me I am trying my best to take a long hard look at myself and see what changes I need to make. I am trying to figure out how I can best stand up for what is right. I believe part of it is having conversations like this but there is more that I can do. If and when Black Lives Matter takes to the streets of Austin I will be there. It is the right thing to do. There is no shame in standing up for what is right. You helped teach me that.

What I do find shameful is willfully ignoring the problem when there is so much bloody evidence that the problem is all too real. I find it shameful that it has taken me so long to realize that I need to speak up. I find it shameful that people aren’t even willing to take an honest look at the situation, because doing so is hard on their egos, when so many people are crying, fighting, and dying to be heard. I find it shameful that parents of color need to have The Talk with their children about the dangers of interacting with the police. I find it shameful that this talk has become a normalized right of passage for children of color. I find it shameful that foreign countries are issuing travel advisories for their citizens with dark skin who are visiting our country because of the violence here that might be directed towards them. I find it shameful that this conversation is even necessary.

Today is July 17th. Philando Castille was shot and killed on July 6th. Since then fourteen more people have been killed by the police in this county. So far this year 522 people have died at the hands of the police. That number grows almost daily. In 2015 police in the United States killed 990 people. As I type this news is breaking that 3 police officers were shot and killed in Baton Rogue this morning.

We all need to decide what side of history we want to be on. We can then either accept the consequences of that decision and let these awful unnecessary tragedies continue or we can get to work creating a more just and equitable society. Whichever choice we make there is no version of this story where allowing the status quo to continue is morally acceptable.

With Love.

Your nephew,

Kevin