A Short Story about Doubts

Kelvin Gobo
Jul 22, 2017 · 4 min read

At some point in life, no matter who you are, everyone experiences doubt. It comes in different ways for different people but its purpose is usually the same: to hinder, delay, to make you change your mind about a decision you are about to make. Having doubts about yourself is not a good thing but it is something that must happen, it is part of life. How we go about these doubts is what really separates the average from the great. It is therefore important that we know how to tackle it.

Why do we experience doubt?

Like I said earlier, having doubts is natural but why do we have them? Before we look into that, let us take a peek into the mind of a child. This child would grow a bit as the story progresses. The mind of a child is naturally optimistic, with strong believes that anything is possible. This is one of the reasons why it is easier to convince a child than an adult. Personally I think about some of the beliefs I had when I was a child and I think “why exactly did I believe that so strongly?” One thing that is not present during those early stages in life is doubt. A child does not have doubts by nature. This means that it is somewhere between childhood and adulthood that doubts begin to creep in. This narrows down our focus area. Going back to the child, he is growing in age and in stature. The child is adventurous, curious and wants to try new things but society, in the form of family, friends and people in general say he should not. Maybe the child goes to school with hopes and dreams but a school is an institution. Institutions tell you what to and what not to do. This is how schools are designed so it lives very little room for creativity and slowly those dreams are forgotten. Once again, not intentionally of course, the hope and dreams of this child are swept under the carpet. A series of failures here, a couple of “No’s” there, and a few rejections here and there build insecurities in this child who has now grown, to become you and I. These insecurities are what cause us to doubt ourselves. Maybe you are like me and you had a horrible experience as a child with public speaking, you would not be so eager about going back on a stage. These insecurities grow with us over time, and then when we want to embark on a new adventure, try a new lifestyle, they reveal themselves in the form of doubts.

How can we overcome it?

It is one thing to have doubts, it is another thing to allow them to hinder your potential. If you let doubts stop you from trying new things, you would never go beyond a certain level. Now you may be comfortable at this level, even have all your needs met at this level, but there would always be that tiny part of you that yearns for more. So even though you try to convince yourself that where you are is good enough, you and I both know that you could be in a better place. If only you could power through the voice in your head telling you that you can’t. How can you do this?

Get uncomfortable
This is the first thing that you must do. If you are comfortable in a place, it is very difficult to get up and leave that place. It is human nature. You have to get uncomfortable with your current position. This way, it would be easier for you to want to move on to something else. If you have read up to this point, the good news is you are already uncomfortable with your current position so read on.

Understand that everyone has doubts
This is one thing most of us forget: everyone has doubts, everyone has insecurities. There is no perfect human being and it is those imperfections that cause doubts. When you understand this, you would not put yourself under unnecessary pressure for being human. You would know that you are not weird for having them and if you are, then everyone is.

Practice! A lot of practice!!
This cannot be overemphasized. To be able to overcome your doubts, you have to believe that you can overcome them. To get that believe, you have to practice and practice to prove to yourself that you can do this. One thing I do if I have to speak in public is to do a lot of practice. The more I practice, the more confident about speaking I get. Confidence is the opposite of doubt so the more confident you are, the less room doubt would have.

Give yourself time
As the popular saying goes “Rome was not built in a day.” Allow yourself time to overcome your doubts. It would not happen in a day, it is a continuous process.

Be open minded
After all the practice and time spent on improving yourself, the big day may not go as you planned. Don’t beat yourself up too much. Take it as part of the learning process. At least now you know one way that does not work. Take a different tact next time.

At the end of the day, just make sure you are doing the best you can do. Don’t let doubts limit you. You only live once so you might as well take a leap. You never know how far you can go until you try.

Kelvin Gobo

Written by

Expressing my thoughts about life, my environment and everything in between

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