We’re so cute all the time.

Andre’s day to pick, my day to drive. Of course he wants to go to Richfield, where I used to drive during rush hour every day for 4 years. But I fully support his decision, because we ended up at Wally’s, where I occasionally used to have lunch, and it kicks ass, although it used to be in a different location. Now it’s in a corporate office building, which seems appropriate, because that’s how they’re so successful. They’re a perfect lunch destination for all the corporate workers in the area, of which there are many. 35W and 494. Home of the office tower. And Wally’s Roast Beef.

Wally’s feeds you meat. Roast beef, turkey, bacon and burgers, done right, and done quickly. A super sparse menu on a 4' x 8' piece of plywood mounted over the lunch counter, and they rock it out with speed. The employees are a little stoned looking, but the owner Jeff is super entertaining and will NOT stop selling you on how awesome the food is. (He actually remembered me from my days at Best Buy. Or pretended to. Either way, it was flattering.) It’s got a bit of an old timey lunch counter feel, but with a corporate facade backdrop. All in all, it’s a weird location, but the food makes up for it.

That damn horsey sauce is potent.

There’s not a lot to say about the food at Wally’s. It’s exactly what you think it’s going to be. It’s a great burger or roast beef sandwich, served quickly and it’s delicious. This place does volume. We went at 1:30 in the afternoon, and that’s the correct time to go. Don’t go between 11 and 1. Just don’t.

2 things that did stand out, however. There is a Blue Plate Special, which we naturally ordered. It is served on an actual Blue Plate, and the corn is utterly delicious. It’s probably what you should get, even though it’s SEVEN WHOLE DOLLARS (as opposed to the 3 or 4 dollars for everything else! Wally’s is affordable.) And the other thing is the horseradish sauce. My God. It’s like a hot knife. It’s punishing and pungent. It’s amazing, and you’ll never forget it. I hope you like horseradish, because if you do, you’re going to love this stuff, and your sinuses will be clean.

Also needing mention is the owner, Jeff. He was working the counter, which I have an immense amount of respect for. He was entertaining, jovial, friendly, and clearly a salesman. He also noticed that our meal didn’t include a hamburger, so he just added one to our order at no cost. Who does that? He made sure that we understood that they do catering, and bulk orders for your pontoon day, which I’m now passing on to you, because he bought me a damn burger. It’s probably not a bad idea.

The bathrooms are in the office building, so they’re pretty sterile, clean, office building type bathrooms, but they smelled AMAZING. Super good. I was kind of impressed, actually. I’d give them a 9.

And then I pointed out to Andre that they had milkshakes, and we needed dessert! So he went up to the counter! And came back with….. Not A Milkshake.

He did the right thing. Fucking delicious. I’m glad I can swear on here, because these Eclairs were fucking delicious. Seriously. Way better than a milkshake.

As always, I can’t wait for next week. I’m having so much fun. :-)

#mysterylunch