Snarky Responses Never Sent: Ranting Replies To Twitter DMs

Automatic DM or direct message? On Twitter? For the birds, right? Get my little joke? I know, I know, I only crack myself up!

Not only are these automated, robotic and ridiculous responses SO NOT SOCIAL, they could possibly bring out the worst in your potential audience. I thought it might be fun to share some snarky responses to some of the silliest auto DM messages I’ve seen of late. All within 140 characters, of course!

TY 4 the Follow! What is a good prospect for you?

Gee, a good prospect for me? Someone who doesn’t auto DM and refrains from teenage text speak, maybe?

SoandSo uses TrueTwit validation. Until Twitter’s DM bug is fixed copy this link into a browser: truetwit​.com/………..

Not only do I have to prove myself trustworthy, but I have to leave Twitter and copy/paste a link to make it happen. Sheesh!

Hey I appreciate the follow, please lets connect on Facebook

Let’s not! And I hope you notice the proper use of the apostrophe that creates the contraction of let and us, creating let’s.

Thx 4 follow! Please follow me @anotherhandle ~ @anotherhhandle ~ www.pinterest/mypinterestaccount ~ t.co/myfacebookpage

Simmer down sassy pants! Can I see if I like your tweets before I blanket follow you across the Interwebs?

Hi Blank, Thank you following, Have you checked out what t.co/randomlink ? Its Amazing !!

What randomlink is what? And what’s with the random capitalization and lack of apostrophes? Amazingly lame? Maybe!

Note: Turns out the random link went to a site that let you buy followers. No surprise. So many snarky responses would have been more than suitable.

Tell me what you are most passionate about.

I’m passionate about stopping the insanity of ridiculous automatic messages like this. Oh, and your sentence ended with a preposition.

How can I help?

Can you make the voices stop? THE VOICES! They’re so loud. HEY! Stop taunting me. STOP IT. GO AWAY. Make them stop!!!!

***** ***** ***** ***** ***** ***** ***** ***** ***** ***** ***** *****

Obviously, I didn’t send any of those. Well. I’ll fess up. I have sent one, “let’s not” response. I know, I know. Not nice. But, honestly, they didn’t get it. They wrote back. REALLY?

We all know that sending off similar responses would be a breach of proper social media etiquette. But, seriously people. The automatic DM is as bad, if not worse. Stop it. Just stop! Else, you’ll give new meaning to the term “angry birds.”

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