Life doesn’t care about your pity party…

**There will be ZERO fluff in the following piece so if you have not grown a pair or worn your big girl panties today, I suggest you move on to a more feel-good post that will soothe your ego**

There will come a day when you need a swift kick in the ass. Perhaps that day is today. I love them actually because they remind me of how powerful my actions and habits truly are.

Odds are, if your feathers were ruffled, if you got your panties in a bunch, or your face scrunched up like a Pug (my bff and I call this Butt Face…I KNOW you know what that look of “not me!” looks and feels like) you won’t want to hear that mega dose of reality.

Take it anyway.

That’s a very solid indication that you NEED to hear it but are just to stubborn to let life’s clues show you. Instead, you need a slap on the back of the head from time to time to remind you that you are not listening.

Life: **NUDGE** Hey, just a heads up…you may want to take a look at this.

You: Nah, I’m too busy right now.

Life: **PUSH** Look, I’m trying to help you…”

You: Yeah but, it’s easier to make other people wrong than it is to swallow my pride on this!

Life: **SMACK** Now you listen here! If you keep going down that road you’re going to get hurt. Don’t say I didn’t warn you!

You: Don’t care. It feels too good write now. In fact, let me eat this quart of ice cream so I can shut you up…nom nom

Life: **HOUSE DROPS** Now, you have no choice. You WILL listen and there is NO argument you can give to change this.

The truth is, we’ve grown soft, weak, and spend more time seeking comforts than challenges. We look for participation rewards instead of actively pursuing our own internal self knowing. We wait for others to validate us and get pissed off when our every little steps are not celebrated by others.

We create instant gratification habits and rationalize our drinking, binge eating, and excess Netflix marathons only to provide every excuse in the book as to WHY our dreams are going unfulfilled.

It’s not my fault my boss is a jerk.

I just have shitty luck.

I always attract the losers.

The daily illusion of balance is fueled by our pursuit of the next dopamine rush as we often feel that “just this once” will be enough to sustain us. Reward hormones. We feed on them.

Dopamine addicts have got to get that next fix no matter what the long-term effects or consequences.

It won’t stop until the pity party stops.

That just one time becomes a full blown identity made up of consistent excuses and lies you feed yourself over and over again when you: let people walk all over you, sacrifice your sanity for your job, take on yet another opportunity to people-please…all eventually leading to persistent, self-gratifying habits of compulsive eating, self-sabotage, and emotional barrages of self-judgement.

If I would have just said this instead…

If I could just say what I really want to say…

If I could just be more like that person…

If I could just figure a way out…

If I just had more money…

If my boss weren’t such a tyrant…

If I could just lose 10 pounds…

We are plagued with that perpetual contemplation- If I could just be someone/something other than myself- as though it would somehow make everything right with the world and kill our cravings for self-destruction.

It won’t.

We are programmed to repeat the patterns, doomed to live out an eternal groundhog’s day that perpetuates our every fear because well, we just accept our pity party as the excuse for not being capable of change. We use our negative self image like a badge of honor…

But don’t you see my pain?

LOOK! See how much I’ve suffered?

Can’t you see how bad this hurt me? Let me tell you ALL the ways because it’s the reason I am the way I am…

I can’t change…They MADE me this way!

Sorry, Charlie. Your identity is ALWAYS a choice.

Your identity is based on what you perceive to be true about an incident, not the incidence itself. Perception is possession and possession is 9/10ths of the law. You possess beliefs, hence you possess and identity based on those beliefs…and so, your laws are based on the beliefs you possess.

Think long and hard about that. Please.

The incident did not make you who and what you are. Not even close. YOU chose to respond by making claims about it, assuming you knew what everyone was thinking, what life rules they too were playing by, and acting as if you are merely a victim with no choice or say as to what images, beliefs and realizations you took away from the experience.

Be a victim or be a victor. Choice is ALWAYS yours.

When someone simply accepts their fate without question, consideration of the parts, or an ownership of how they showed up, essentially…they give up. At least, that’s MY perspective. You may not see it this way but I’d wager to assume that if you’ve read this far into this piece, you at least have some form of relation to this.

Thing is, I came to this conclusion after years of taking what I was given instead of actively creating it. I gave up thinking I was powerful enough to BE a co-creator in my reality and instead just dealt with…by means of every form of self-punishment necessary…what came my way.

See, when you choose to be a victor life answers back with reasons to BE victorious. But when I was claiming to be a victim to life, it felt like life had really made me its bitch.

In my true power, I’m an alpha. I lead with power, conviction and humility. Manifestations happen with ease and grace, my thoughts are precisely on point with my goals and I can see straight into the future to assess how my choices will play out.

When out of this power, I’m weak, I give up easily, and I avoid communication with people I admire and respect like the plague. I talk about myself as though everything is fine but deep down inside I’m a hot mess waiting to be saved by some ideal situation that would just ‘fix everything if I could JUST get there.’

Sound familiar?

Hiding in your own pity will create more chaos, more pain, and more hardships than courage and tenacity every will.

The thing you need to remember is this:

Life does not care if you have a pity party or not. It doesn’t care if I perceive myself to have a bad day. Nope. It doesn’t judge pity, sadness or even judgement as good or bad. In fact, life does not know good vs bad. It only knows what IS in physical manifest and in thought. Thought sparks physical manifest so be careful what you are secretly wishing for!

Life will ALWAYS give me back what I put into it. No matter how poorly I feel I’m being treated by life, the reality is life loves SO much that it will give me whatever I ask for. Complain more about what I don’t have and life says, “You know what, I love you so much that I’m going answer that prayer. Here, here is more lack for you to focus on and complain about. I love you.”

Judge yourself on your imperfections all day, every day and life says, “Hey, I totally hear you. Since you focus on your flaws all day, let me bring more people into your life that will confirm and validate your beliefs. I love you.”

Want out? Change your sorry ass attitude, honey.

Stop whining and get over yourself. Shift your focus onto things that REALLY matter like how you actually woke up today and were able to think for yourself. Imagine how many people are not able to do that!

Seriously.

In this life, there are SO many things to be thankful for. If you are complaining about everything you don’t have, you completely miss out on all the opportunities that await you. The opportunity lies IN the focus. The focus is where all the gold can be found. But it’s only available to those who quit the pity party and seek out excellence. Only to those ready to ditch the old excuses and start each day anew.

All choices made in the NOW, not the past, will determine who you become tomorrow. NOW is the ONLY time we can consciously impact. Save for time bending and quantum leaps but that’s a conversation for a whole other day…

In the meantime, choose wisely, my friends. Your destiny depends on your courage and relentless pursuit of greatness.