Relationship Success: Stop blaming, start owning

If you’ve been following me for a while, you’ll have heard me say often that we experience in life what we project from belief.

In quantum consciousness we find that there’s a magnetization between thoughts and reality that happens whether we are conscious or not. And quite often, it’s our unconscious thoughts that impact what we are able to experience…creating a seemingly chaos reality more times than not.

Relationships can be heavily damaged by unconscious expectations and beliefs if left to run the show. Yet, while it may FEEL as though someone seeks to purposefully harm us, in reality it is our beliefs of who we THINK they should be that causes us the most damage. Once we can embrace the relationship as our greatest mirror, a tool our higher self uses as a movie screen to project our own internal dialogue, we can begin to consciously choose and create a new reality.

So how to we justify or resolve a situation when we feel offended or mistreated by someone we love? How do we create balance in a relationship that feels one-sided like we’re being taken for granted?

Two words: Extreme Ownership.

The tough part about this conversation…and from my experience, this philosophical debate can go on for DAYS…is that so many of us suffer from victim consciousness, thinking the world is happening TO us rather than FOR us. To create any sort of change we must first BE that change and to know how to be that change we must become fully aware of how the world around us is being influenced by our limiting beliefs.

During a conversation with one of my clients, we’ll call her Mary to honor her confidentiality, we reviewed the issue of her son who’s still living at home with no motivation to get a job or make a living for himself.

Mary was stuck in how to proceed with an upcoming move. The motherly love wants her son to possess some form of desire to do something with his life. This aspect of her also feared putting him out on the streets if he did not figure it out. On the other hand, she battled with pushing him to make a decision and felt at times like she was being taken advantage of.

When we began to reflect on how her internal blockage was projecting onto him, we found that she too had become stagnant and complacent.

Being in the same job that was “comfortable” for many years, she’s known deep down inside that a change was/is necessary. She’s fought mentally with making that change as she hasn’t wanted to give up what feels safe on the surface.

In this example, the universe is working through her son to show her what she needs to take action on herself.

While it may be true that her son needs to find his way in life, because of the closeness of their relationship, he won’t be able to change until she does. One person must make the change when they SEE the reflection so that both can disconnect from the magnetic attraction of this experience with reality.

This new awareness gave space for a deep communication with her son about her desires for him to have a great life and about her fears in his potential lack of achieving that. Their dialogue created a better relationship, sparking them BOTH to actively seek new challenges in their own lives. Instead of blaming each other for what they felt was wrong in their own lives, they were able to accept their own creations, choose better paths, and work together in the move to support their growth in careers.

When you learn to see this life and your projections/reflections as gifts for better understanding yourself, you’ll find that you shift from the idea that life is happening TO you and begin to thrive in the knowing that life happens FOR you!

What projection is happening in your relationship right now that you have noticed creating conflict? In what ways does it signal a course of action that you can take immediately to create change in your life?

Comment in the section below and let me know ❤