What happens when you show up instead of giving up?
Have you ever had a moment when you felt like giving up?
Um…duh. We ALL have.
The question is, DID you though?
I’ve always told my clients that true failure is giving up completely on the premise that you are not enough to finish, but to take a risk that creates a “loss” is still a win if you didn’t give up.
I’d like to start by saying:
Life has been strange for me this year.
Strange.
Very.
But in a good way.
When I look back on 2018 I think: how the hell did I make it through with so much peace and clarity?
And then I remember: Oh yeah! That’s right. I didn’t give up.
Perseverance was the overall theme and boy was that tested!
Between a break-up, walking away from a business/community I’d invested years into, losing my uncle to a fatal motorcycle accident, losing a friendship, and more, the sheer force of it all shook every bit of my being.
Earlier this year, I knew I was ready to shed.
I remember thinking to myself: When I’m done with this process, I don’t want to even recognize myself!
To make room for bigger things I’ve been wanting to experience I had to get rid of anything and everything that was holding me down. Then, I braced myself for a potentially messy and painful re-birthing of my new self.
Vulnerability was my best friend 🙌
How many times have you had a situation where you knew what you NEEDED to do and just couldn’t bring yourself TO do it?
More times than you can count, right?
In life, I’ve procrastinated more times than I’ve not.
Only…
This year was NOT that for me.
Instead, I ran right into the flames of discomfort, fear and shame to the point where I emerged feeling like I’d shed 6 years of dead weight plus lifetimes of emotional suffering.
Whenever I felt like giving up, I remembered how good it felt to get knocked down by circumstance only to get back up, wipe the metaphorical blood from my lip and say to life…
“Is that all you’ve got? You hit like a b*tch.”
Truth is-
I stand stronger when the road is uncertain. Always have.
I rather enjoy the process of having to figure it all out, in the moment, with few obvious solutions available to me at the time.
I create greater risks, and rewards, when I’m faced with the toughest challenges.
And truth be told, we ALL do IF we are open to stay the course. To NOT give up when we feel we’ve got nothing left.
The key is to get help.
And no…I don’t mean to be saved from the struggle.
I mean get a coach to call you on your sh*t when you start slacking unconsciously. Get an accountability buddy you can bounce ideas around with. Build a foundation of proactive and self-love habits to develop a better relationship with yourself.
That’s what I did.
I knew I couldn’t do it on my own. I knew I’d be digging into deep, dark programs that would require a hand to hold and a light to shine because mine had grown dim from my last relationship.
So with fear in my mind and a shaky trust in myself, I spoke up for support.
And when the thread of energetic debris manifested brutal obstacles, gut wrenching challenges and quantum level curve balls…I was ready.
It was like everything I’ve taught for 15 years as a coach was officially in play for MY benefit and I was able to thrive despite the perceived battle going on around and through me.
I know there are many of you battling life right now…feeling like nothing is going your way…like you can’t seem to catch a break.
I’m here to say…
There is nothing you cannot be, do or have IF you give yourself permission to come out winning on the other side.
By choosing to play small, hide your emotions, and avoid the heavy risk opportunities, you are sealing your own fate.
You are choosing to fail by positioning yourself in a weak spot with no support to catch you when you fall, dust you off, and kick you right in the pants to keep going.
Permission to win is…
something most people cannot do simply because they are too afraid of taking ownership for their own losses. They don’t want to be seen falling or have to admit that they made a bad choice. When we hide being vulnerable we can cover up the story with “I don’t know how this happened?!”
You know, it’s so much easier to say “this is YOUR fault,” or “it’s THEIR fault,” when we don’t want to admit we slacked or didn’t even try.
It’s even easier to preface that statement with “I did my best…” as though it’s even MORE proof that we are not responsible for the outcome.
But at the end of the day, the only ones we have to blame for our success and failures is US. And when the odds seem stacked against us, it’s a sign to CHOOSE to level up.
Not a sign to run and hide.
Next time you feel you can’t go on, just remember…you can.
Take a breath.
Drink some water.
Shake it off.
Then just go face it.
You don’t need to know HOW it’s going to work, you just need to believe that it will for the best. Your courage and conviction will carry power to manifest what you DO want as an outcome.
The universe knows when you are preparing to win or to lose based on your thought currents and your corresponding behavior patterns. And the reality that manifests to support your belief will be in direct correlation with the clarity of your intention.
I played to win this year.
I was committed to stick it out.
Perceptions of how things “should” look would say I had a rough year. In fact, 2018 was a year full of miracles because I declared the lessons as my take-aways rather than claiming the scars as my identity.
And for that, I won. Big time.
How will YOU set yourself up to win in 2019? What support do you need in place to assure your WIN?
About the author:
Alida is an Intuitive Life Strategist and student of comparative religions. Her coaching company, Ambassador for Goodness, hosts various workshops on mindfulness, spiritual entrepreneurship, intuitive eating, art therapy, and relationship success. This blog is also a podcast called Wisdom Nuggets and can be found on iTunes, Anchor, Google Play Music, Overcast, Pocketcasts and almost anywhere podcasts are found!
