How to Design a Journey to Better Self-Esteem
By Godot Media
Surround Yourself With the Right People
Quite often, we find ourselves becoming the people that we’re around. In fact, there is an old proverb that reads “Show me your friends, and I’ll tell you who you are.” On that note, there is no denying the fact that choosing the people that we want to be around is certainly one of the most important decisions we might have to take. Based on that, we should learn to be cautious about what kind of people we surround ourselves with, keeping in mind the short and long term implications of the same.
So, how do you do that? How do you surround yourself with the right people? And how do you know whether the people around you are right or just bring in negativity to your life and work? To get you going, let’s discuss a few actions to help you surround yourself with the right people.
Analyze people you’re surrounded by — your colleagues and social circles
Colleagues and friends are a part of our lives that we just cannot do without. In fact, we often learn a lot on our friends and might even begin to depend on them for a few things. We share our successes and failures with them, and they are ones we talk to about challenges in life. This makes it important that the people that we surround ourselves with are supportive and encourage us to do more with our potential and get over the challenges. We must find a support system in our social circle and a group of friends that will support us through the tough times and challenge us to achieve more.
It is important to analyze the circle of friends that we around us and see whether they add some value to your life or take away something from it instead. You must surround yourself with friends and colleagues who will help you reach your goals and challenge you to do even better. Simply put, if you wish to be a successful in the world of finance, surround yourself with people who are financially successful and know the ups and downs of the journey ahead. Another way to say this is that if you surround yourself with people who are financially broke, you’ll never know how people who aren’t bankrupt live their lives and work for success. Accordingly, if you wish to have a happy relationship with your spouse, surrounding yourself with people who are a part of the healthy relationship will certainly help you do better with your own.
That being said, you should also keep yourself open to positive things happening around you and always look to gain something from such events. Don’t let imaginations fill your head while judging or assessing people around you and make sure that you’re not turning cynical in the process. Understand that there’s only a small portion of focus that others put in to judge you and your skill of self-judgment is what comes in handy most of the time. People who might appear hurtful may not do it intentionally and maintaining a relationship is your job. Make sure that you don’t change your natural behavior in the process of analyzing your colleagues. That being said, don’t wait to be invited to talk to people, and sometimes it’s a good thing to approach new people yourself.
Sometimes, people are angry or depressed with something and the result is usually a distorted behavior that is nowhere close to their true feelings. The right way to analyze people around you is to focus on empathy, demonstrate trust and develop a rapport. This way, you will usually be able to break away from these negative diversions and reach people’s hearts faster.
Get away from toxic people
It shouldn’t be a surprise when you learn that the world around is full of negativity. And more than anywhere else, we get it from media outlets, only because it pays them better. Moreover, there is no shortage of negativity in-coming from people around you. From colleagues to bosses, friends, family and strangers on the street — everyone is looking to share their life’s waste out with you. Well, this does not mean that you should not take time to support the people who need it when they’re against challenges. We are talking about people who drain the energy out of our lives, including those who thrive on sharing their own negativity with us.
When such people push you their negativity through various different ways, refuse it. For instance, if you have a few people around you who don’t like their jobs, colleagues or the company, stop hanging around with them. If you surround yourself with people who don’t really care about their professional growth in the company, you won’t see a growth in your own career in the company as well.
But don’t just walk from negativity around you, run! And since it not only diverges your own perspective about your life but also impacts your mental well-being, try and stay away from it as much as you can. Because while your success can be determined partly by who you surround yourself with, it also depends a lot on people you decide to stay away from.
There are many ways you can defend yourself against all this negativity around you. For one, try not to take anybody else’s negativity personally. That’s because most negative people aren’t just negative with you, but with everybody they meet as well. Remember that whatever others do or say is entirely a reflection of their own self. You can also try and spend more time with positive people, people who are smart, driven and motivated. Psychology experts believe that people who you spend most of your time with have a lot of impact on what you eventually become. In fact, be the positive you want to in people. Even if you can’t save the world, you can always make it a better place to be by becoming self-aware and protecting your positive space.
The problem isn’t always with negativity, but also with the way you deal with it sometimes. Understand that you are always free to choose the way you react and your attitude in a given situation. Since blaming others, criticizing or complaining isn’t really going to change anything, you are better off without them. Remember that you cannot achieve a positive lifestyle with a negative attitude.
However, sometimes it is just easier if you focus on solutions rather than the endless supply of complaints and negativity. Try and dwell as less as possible with what went wrong and look forward to the next positive event. Practice complimenting people, act kind and be friendly. Sometimes, a kind word and some help is all one needs to turn a negative attitude, to a positive one.
Finally, realize and understand that negativity will always keep coming your way and all you can do is acknowledge it, teach yourself a lesson, and move on without ruining your own day. Don’t let negative thoughts from the past damage your present and rob your new experiences. And if all else fails, try and remove yourself from the wrong situation and away from the wrong people. In the end, keeping away from negative people doesn’t mean that you hate them, it only means that you care more about your own well-being, which of course, you should.
Dedicate time to people and relationships that nurture you
In this world of automated and data driven world, we often miss out on building strong relationships with people but still have a good number of contacts on the virtual social networking world. But to make sure that you’re surrounded with the right people, social networking isn’t going to help. You need to build an emotional bank balance with people around you. For instance, you should seek out chances, in a little unobtrusive way, to interact and collaborate with your colleagues. Try and dedicate a fraction of your time with your colleagues, friends and people that you think can nurture you as a person.
One of the main reasons why you hate going back to work on Mondays is because you don’t feel like you’ve spent enough time with people you care about, and the people who you matter to. Moreover, our lives are getting busier every day and it is becoming hard to dedicate time to interact with people who hold an important place in your personal life. But you need to spend time with people who mean the most to you, even if you have to schedule it and put it on the calendar! What we should do is try and surround ourselves with the right people, as much as we can. Relationships are as important to professional career, as they are to your personal life. Do everything that you can to be around people who allow you to feel free and motivated.
At work, it is fairly honest to say that it is sometimes for people to be openly appreciative about other’s work, and this is not always out of an ill-will. But you don’t have to be that way and hold the positive appreciation just because you don’t usually interact with the person. A little pat on the back, when deserved can take your relationship a long way. Always recognize people for their efforts and the way they spend their time. Also, people are always likely to have a better relationships with you if they know what you can be approached for and how you can help.
Make a conscious effort to interact with like-minded people, and grow your circle of positive people
But before that, take a minute and think of the people you hang around most. Do they inspire and motivate you, or are they ready to help you when you need them? Do they provide your comfort while still questioning your dreams?
The circle of people that we are with has a significant role to play in our lives. There is also a popular saying based on the same which reads ‘Proactive people focus on the circle of influence while passive people are more inclined towards their circle of concern’. It means that while proactive people focus on things that they can do something about, like learning a new skill or relationships, passive people or people with a negative mindset often focus on things that are out of their control, like national debt or terrorism. Try and remain proactive and surround yourself with like-minded people. Being proactive means being responsible for where your life is headed and about how you handle your relationships. It always concerns with people in your circle of influence.
Now how do you make a sincere effort to surround yourself and be friends with proactive and like-minded, positive people? How do you grow your circle of positive friends and colleagues? Well, to begin with, you will have to go ahead and talk to people. And the best way to break the circle of ‘being scared while approaching people for a conversation’ is to just stop thinking and doing it! And remember, the more skeptical you are, the more hesitant you will become while trying to make new friends or growing your circle of people.
To grow your circle of positive people, the first you need is to be yourself. Since you are looking for like-minded people, and friends who think like you, there is no way you could find them when you’re faking something that you are not. Moreover, following what you like and avoiding to be pretentious is the only way to interact with like-minded people. You also need to understand that friendship is a two way street and it is equally about the other person in the relationship as well. Try to know them and hang around such people who you wish to keep in your circle of friends. Always remember, if you are positive and feel great and keep yourself open to other’s positivity, the whole world will be waiting to be a friend of yours.