What 24 means to me
It’s 4:36 p.m. as I sit to write this piece.
The sun is setting. And there’s this cool, very cool breeze filling the air.
Tomorrow, I’ll be turning 24. Two decades and four whole years of being a human being on this earth!
Quite a feat, if you ask me!
Especially because being a human is very exhausting compared to the ordeals of other animals like dogs, birds, or any other you can think of.
The last 23 years have been everything!
Sunny days and gloomy days
Love and hate
Joy and chaos
Smiles and tears.
But amidst all of it, I’m still standing strong!
I might have grown not-so-tall, with moderate boobs and a petite body, but the discrete qualities that made me me haven’t changed one bit!
Since I was a very little girl, I’ve been a big dreamer—a very big dreamer!
First, as a child, I wanted to be a teacher.
Next, I wanted to be a journalist.
Next, I wanted to be a psychiatrist.
My dreams have been a part of the qualities I possess, a quality I never want to lose!
Things I’m grateful for
As I turn 24 in a couple of hours, there are so many things I can’t help but be grateful for.
1. My mind
God has blessed me with a very beautiful mind!
Many times, when I conceive of ideas or get things done, I’m blown away by what my mind can do.
I never, ever want to lose it.
2. Education
I’m grateful for the ability to read and write.
This has to be the single most powerful thing I’ve been gifted.
I’m grateful to have been allowed to acquire a Nursery, Primary and Secondary education.
I’m grateful for spending 2 years at the University of Port Harcourt where I studied Pharmacy (till I dropped out).
I’m very sure there are thousands of people around the world my age who don’t have this great privilege.
3. My Family
As a child, family was one of those things I took for granted.
But as I grew older and started living in separate cities from my family, I realised just how important family is.
In the last 23 years of my sojourn here on earth, I have met people who have absolutely no idea what a family is like.
I grew up knowing not just my mum, dad and siblings, but also my extended relatives.
This is something I count as a huge blessing!
4. My Friends
For a large chunk of my late teens and adult life, I have been blessed with friends, good, well-meaning friends.
I’ve been blessed with people who see me, who love me, and believe in me.
I’ve been blessed with people who have made all sorts of sacrifices for me.
I’ve been blessed with people who can hear me cry and reassure me that everything will be fine.
I’ve been blessed with people who can support me at my lowest and cheer me on at my highest.
I’m not one of those adults who complains of “fake friends.”
All my friends are real gees. And I’m grateful for that!
5. My career path
This has been the most challenging aspect of my life!
Imagine being so smart that you’re good in both the Arts and Sciences.
Yup! That’s me!
You get so confused about what to pursue but eventually settle for Sciences.
You sit JAMB 3 times but never get into Medicine, despite your high score.
You finally get into Pharmacy School, study for 2 years and discover this isn’t a path you find inherent joy.
You drop out of University to pursue things you’re passionate about — writing, talking and teaching — and most people think you’re crazy.
I’m grateful I have the skills that I have.
I’m grateful I don’t have to measure myself against traditional success metrics.
I’m grateful I don’t have to remain stuck in a career path that I hate.
I’m grateful for the courage to do me… unashamedly!
6. My Role Models/People I admire
Before the internet came to life, we read books!
I admired Chimamanda Adichie, Chinua Achebe, Wole Soyinka, Gracy Osifo and other amazing writers.
I thought they were very brilliant people, and I aspired to be like them when I grew up.
As I grew older, I started using the internet and found some very incredible people:
Steven Bartlett
Tim Denning
Dan Koe
Jon Morrow
Nathan Barry
Ali Abdaal
Latasha James
Peace Itimi
Aisha Salahudeen
Korty eo
And I think they’re absolutely brilliant! They are people who have ditched traditional paths and have gone on to create their own.
I’m grateful I have access to the internet.
I’m grateful I found these amazing people when I did.
Obsessively following them and consuming every piece of content they put out has absolutely changed my life!
7. Healing from my Childhood Traumas
As a child, I was severely molested sexually.
My self-esteem was crushed down to a negative zero.
I hated myself.
I hated my abusers.
I hated people.
I never thought I could ever heal!
I carried this pain in my heart for years and couldn’t tell anyone about it.
I felt it was my fault for everything that happened to me.
Then, I met Fortune. He shared parts of himself he hadn’t shared with anyone else.
I met Ma Onyinyechi Nwosu. Volunteering for VIDI exposed me to A LOT of people who were victims of sexual violence too.
I started healing. Little by little.
Did someone hurt you? Were you molested? Were your rights violated? Does it feel like you can never be ok again?
I’m living proof that time heals all wounds!
Plans I had for 24 that didn’t go as planned
If you were to ask 17-year-old me what I wanted at 24, the dream would be simple:
- To have graduated from medical school with honours.
- To be in a serious relationship with or be engaged to someone who I’ll be getting married to
Unfortunately, at 24:
- I’m not studying at any university at the moment.
- I’m not even in a relationship. (I ended my relationship after close to 3 years because it wasn’t serving me anymore.)
Despite all of this, so much has happened between 2016 and today that I never imagined would have been possible:
- In November 2016, I founded TITFOR on my 17th birthday. I built the community from 0 to nearly 100 teens and young adults in the city of Aba.
- In November 2017, with little or no funding, I launched my first book (it was titled A Palm of the Hand), I marked my 18th birthday, and TITFOR celebrated her first anniversary.
- In November 2018, I hosted my first-ever teen conference in the city of Aba at Abia State Polytechnic. The conference was tagged Mutation 18: Making I CAN a strand of my DNA.
- In November 2019, I planned and hosted the second edition of my annual teen conference. This edition was tagged MUTATION 19: Becoming Young Millionaires.
- In October 2020, I launched the Figure-8 Connect community with She Can E-Conference. The community will eventually grow to a safe space for 240+ young African women aged 18 to 35.
- In May 2022, I launched the School of Digipreneurs—an online community for young Africans where we learn digital skills that’ll help us become successful digital entrepreneurs.
- In August 2023, I founded The LinkedIn Club.
- I have worked with several clients both locally and internationally and have earned money I never thought I would be able to use my skills for.
- I have been invited to speak on both physical and virtual stages.
- I hosted dozens of webinars and even physical talk shows.
These are all things 17-year-old me would never have imagined was possible.
I am grateful!
Yes, I have agemates and friends who have graduated from University.
I have friends who are in serious relationships, engaged, or even married.
I have friends who even have children.
But as I grow older, I’ve come to understand that everyone’s path is unique and different.
The biggest lessons from the last year of my life
The last 12 months have taught me so many life lessons, and I guess it’s only appropriate that I share them in this piece:
Who you know is just as important as what you know
The older I grow, the more I understand that relationships are the currency of life.
You might be so smart and skilled, but if nobody knows how smart you are, who will mention you in the rooms that matter?
This last year, I’ve tried my best not just to focus on learning new skills but also building relationships!
Trust me, it’s very important!
Love can come from anywhere or anyone
This has to be the most shocking lesson of the last year!
After being in a romantic relationship with a male who’s 6+ years older than me, that was all I thought there was about a relationship.
Last year, I had a crush on a girl. I felt something really strong for a man younger than me.
Love can come from anywhere. Love can come from anyone.
Don’t resist it!
Your true family is made up of those who help you in times of need
None of us chose our biological families.
We were just born and born into the fact that we had family members.
As we grow older, we start making friends.
Some of these friends can turn closer than family. Some of them become our soul sisters and brothers.
Even Though your biological family is obligated to be there for you through challenging times,
The true family is those who are not related to you by blood but still turn up for you during such times.
Hold them very close!
If you don’t make a change, you’ll remain stuck and hate your life
Last year, I made a lot of changes.
I officially dropped out of pharmacy school.
I moved out of Port Harcourt and my comfort zone.
I moved to Lagos with little or no money or plans.
It wasn’t easy.
But today, I’m writing this piece comfortably from my apartment in Lagos.
If I hadn’t decided to make a change, I would have still been stuck in my apartment in PH forever.
I’m glad I made that change!
The investment with the highest ROI is the one made by oneself
Discovering Steven Bartlett, Ali Abdaal and many other people I’ve gotten to greatly admire has taught me this:
The best investment I can ever make is in myself!
An investment made on yourself yields the highest return on investment.
After realising this, I’m beginning to invest more in myself and my abilities.
The results so far have been mind-blowing.
It’s okay to follow the path less travelled
I’m different.
At first, it felt very weird.
To be on a very different path from your mates and friends, but as I grow older...
I discovered it’s perfectly fine to be different!
It’s fine to drop out of university.
It’s fine not to be in a relationship if it doesn’t feel right.
It’s fine not to aspire to have children and be married.
It’s fine to be a puzzle that people try to figure out every time.
Since I came to this realisation over the last year, I have become more comfortable in my skin.
The most successful people in the world don’t have “normal lives.”
Show me anyone who’s widely successful, like Elon Musk or Mark Zuckerberg, and I’ll show someone without a normal life.
If I want to be exceptionally good at whatever I’m doing, there has to be a level of obsession! There have to be a few things I must let go of.
I have accepted the fact that I might never have a normal life. And that’s okay.
Being an entrepreneur is one sure way to change the world
I’ve always been an entrepreneur.
But I haven’t given it so much thought like I did in the last year.
This might be because I discovered The Diary of a CEO by Steven Bartlett (Podcast).
Listening to him and others share their experiences with entrepreneurship just got me hooked.
If you want to change the world, become an entrepreneur!
If you want to change the world, build a product that solves a real-life problem.
Your name will be engraved forever on the sands of time.
True fulfilment comes from building a career around your innate abilities
Like I said earlier in this piece, one of the things I’m proudest of is how my career has turned out.
I’m very happy for the privilege of making money off the things that come naturally to me—writing, talking, and teaching.
I spent 2 years studying pharmacy. I dropped out afterwards because it wasn’t leading me to where I wanted to be.
I’ve never been happier!
If you want to find true joy, do what you love!
If you want to find true fulfilment, build a career around your innate abilities.
Your future self will thank you!
The people you spend the most time with are a reflection of the person you become
Life is more spiritual than it is physical.
Life is all about exchanging energies.
People are like energy balls. Some carry positive energies, while others carry negative energies.
The more you spend time with people carrying negative energies, you tend to be negatively charged yourself.
Be careful about the people you spend the most time with; they determine the kind of person you become.
P.S. Don’t take this particular advice with a pinch of salt.
What would I love to be remembered for?
The older I get, the more I realise that life isn’t just about me.
The older I get, the more I realise I deserve to make the world a little bit better than it was when I met it.
The older I get, the more I realize that I can die at any time.
This realisation makes me want to make the most of every opportunity that comes my way.
If I died today, here are some things I want to be remembered for:
- A good friend, sister and daughter
I want to be that friend that my friends warm up to. A friend that sticks closer than a sister.
I want to be an amazing sister to my 4 younger siblings. I want to be there for them when no one else is.
I want to be a daughter my parents would ever be proud of. I want to make their old age so beautiful 😍
A serial entrepreneur
I want to be that woman that builds businesses, multiple businesses.
I want to build products that cater to the needs of humans.
I want to build a solution that people can’t do without all over the world!
Someone who didn’t let her circumstances stop her from achieving success
Achieving success can be very hard!
It’s always full of ups and downs, highs and lows.
I want to be that inspiration to the younger generation.
I want to hold up the lantern and be a source of inspiration for people to know…
Despite all my challenges, I did it! And that, they too can!
Africa’s leading Mental Health Advocate/Educator
Many people don’t know this — I am very passionate about mental health advocacy and education in Africa.
I believe so much that mental health is very important, just like every other aspect of our health.
If not the most important.
I want to grow to become the loudest and most consistent voice in Africa on mental health matters.
In Conclusion…
There are so many lessons I have learned over the years.
There are so many amazing people I have met over the years.
There are so many wins and disappointments too.
But I’m proud of how far we’ve come and how much we have achieved.
As I’m turning 24 today…
I feel old and sweet at the same time!
I feel very confident and sexy in my body!
I feel like I’ve been through A LOT but still have a long way to go!
Cheers to 24 🥂🥂🥂
Happy 24th birthday to me 🥳🥳🎉🥳
