5 Simple Ways to Cultivate The Right Type of Confidence.

Godstime Esenogho
Nov 6 · 5 min read

Building a competence based confidence; Steps to developing lasting self-confidence.


Typing self improvement topics on Google’s search engine, provides you with a list of the top 12 self-improvement topics. Sitting pretty confidently at the top of that list is "confidence".

Taking top spot is no mean feat, as a lot of topics are being discussed. It’s so much of a big deal that it covers about 10.2% of the 12 major self improvement topics being talked about and this is because, people want to learn ways to increase their confidence levels.

The general feeling is that a lack of confidence is the reason why people don’t do so well, and to produce performances of the highest level, you need to have amazing levels of self confidence. Sounds about right, yes? Not so true, and that’s because such a statement doesn’t tell the whole story.

Feeling confident is just a part of the equation that produces top quality performances, the other equally important part is competence.
Confidence is a belief in one’s ability to get things done, the operative word being "belief". Competence however is having the necessary skill and knowledge required to get things done.

Most of what there is to confidence is a feeling and feelings change, quickly too. There is a relationship between both, but how they lead to the other is where there is a slight disagreement.

There is a consensus that, confidence gives you the ability to do anything. Take a look at these qoutes and you’ll see what I mean.

When you have a lot of confidence and you feel like nobody can beat you, it’s game over for everyone else.” – Jason Day.

“I’ve studied the lives of the 20th century’s great businessmen and concluded self-confidence was instrumental in all their success.” – Alex Spanos.

“As is our confidence, so is our capacity.” – William Hazlitt.

All of these are very exciting to read and can pump you full of good feelings, but as earlier said, feeling good is a state that can change, what keeps you in that state is competence.

If everyone exhudes as much confidence as Jason prescribes what is going to differentiate two confident individuals; one who is confident without the level of competency to match and one who is very competent and has a confidence level to match it.

Will just being confident be enough for an individual with less competence to be better than one who is confident and competent? It’s safe to say that Jason’s quote might be a bit far-reaching and may also be tipping the scales in favour of a narcissistic society.

According to Alex spanos and William Hazlitt - competence is the consequence of confidence, when truly competence is the source of confidence.

It’s simpler to assume successful business people are people with high confidence levels- which is true, but also true is the fact that they are highly competent and it’s from that competence (knowing that they can do the things which they want to) that leads to high confidence levels.

Qoutes like these lead to increasing the growing number of incompetent-confident people, people who feel they can, but actually can’t.

The challenge lies in building up confidence backed up by competence, and it’s not what just positive thinking can get, it’s what practical actions will get you. The following are some ways to build up the right kind of confidence.

Break Down Tasks, Start small and Celebrate successes.
A basic way of becoming competently confident is achieving success that backs up the feeling, the more you succeed the more confident you become.

Having a huge daunting project can raise doubts and fears, to handle that, you have to break these large tasks into smaller and more easily accomplishable tasks.

Succeeding in these tasks gives you the needed momentum which you can ride on to achieve the bigger result.

If you’re low on confidence, this is one of the best ways to start building it up. Also ensure you celebrate your success to get you tuned in to the winning mentality.

Put in The work.
Positivity will get you in the right frame of mind, but that’s where you’ll remain if you don’t do the hardwork to achieve results.

Putting effort into anything you’re engaged in enables you to know first hand what it is all about. Learning about the situation everyday gives you a better handle on it, and if you have a good handle on it, then you’re confident of doing it right, because you can actually handle it.

Take Responsibility.
There is always a chance that you might not be successful when you’re working on a task. That’s not something to worry about. Realizing it early, equips you to handle it if it does happen.

Being able to handle it involves owning up to your mistakes and shortcomings. If you fail at something, you’ve learnt a way of not doing it and if you learn all the ways of not doing it, then soon you will learn the way to succeed. The key thing here is learning from the failed attempts. Knowing what to do and what not to do leaves you feeling confident of how you can get things done.

Persistence
To become competently confident, you need to keep trying. Doubts will creep in when you give up, at such times you might question your abilities and your confidence level naturally drops.

Attaining success after a trying episode further strengthens the belief that you can do the things that you set your mind to, with hardwork and dedication.

Encourage Feedbacks
An incompetent-confident individual has arrived at the conclusion that he is better than his abilities truly dictate.

This is common, people generally have distorted views of themselves and an individual with such a problem will hardly improve on the "already great abilities". Feedbacks from those close enough to assess you will go a long way to either enhance your growing confidence or instigate an improvement process, both of which are good for you.

However you should be able to tell the difference between malicious feedback that borders on negativity, and feedback that aims to improve. Negativity is not good for improving confidence.

Lastly remember that getting your confidence level up is going to do great things for you, but knowing also that you can do great things and not just relying on the feeling that you can is way better.

A competently-confident individual can do anything. Now that’s a qoute.

    I write about Personal growth and development, my experiences and views on major life issues

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