I hear you sister. I decided too, no more waiting for my life to begin, for that season when I will be allowed to be 'included' even though my body ‘excludes’ me from the club.
Having chosen to let go of expectations and simply enjoy me — my body, her voluptuousness, her velvet strength, her BEAUTY, her verve, her vivaciousness-I am finding joy, joy, joy that spills into life, creating love all around me. Knowing freedom from the shame now. In its place, love reflected back to me. In mirrors. In photgraphs. In the eyes of men and their body language.
They are all simply reflecting back to me the love, acceptance and peace I have for myself, body, mind and spirit.
Yes, I still have those shame filled days. Yet I’m well into the 'just as I am’ pipeline now, and have ample opportunities each day to embrace the present me. In doing so I am ‘teaching' others how to ‘see’ & respond to me.
Thank you for your perspective, encouraging words and affirmation to keep onward ho!