Is Your Parenting Based on Science or Fiction?

Parenting is anything but joyride.

It’s fraught with enough ups and downs to raise existential questions in every struggling parent.

Parenting has been draped in myths, something surreal.

Parents are human, and all the counsel they receive or give is not rooted in truth; it’s a cumulative of personal experiences over years.

To understand parenting and seek clarity on these misconceptions, it’s vital that the veil be removed and the myths dealt with logical evidence.

Myth 1: You Can Spoil a Baby by Holding Them Too Much

Holding babies has lasting benefits, especially for their physical and emotional development.

Various studies have shown that responsive caregiving, like holding or cuddling the babies, helps in developing a secure attachment.

Babies thrive on the emotional connection established through physical touch. That’s the reason they recognise the touch of the parents or the primary caregivers instinctively.

If someone says that holding the baby spoils them, what they mean is too much of holding can spoil them. They may become dependent or habituated to the physical presence.

Anything in excess is never good.

Myth 2: Children Should Always Share

Sharing is caring. Agreed.

But how do you explain that to a one year old?

Learning about sharing is part of the developmental process but the child learns about this social skill as it grows older.

Centuries of mental conditioning of “finders keepers’ ” is not going to just fade away.

As they grow, they will learn about individual boundaries and ownership. Sharing is crucial, and they’ve to be taught at the earliest.

And learn they will. Allow them time to figure it out first.

Myth 3: Playing Classical Music Makes Babies Smarter

If that was the only way to make babies smarter, the music companies would’ve flooded the market with classical music, and we would’ve the world full of intelligent people.

Look around. You’ve guessed right — that’s not the truth.

Music helps in developing the cognitive abilities. For holistic intellectual development, the child needs to be exposed to a variety of stimuli and experiences.

To have smarter babies, let them explore and experience the world around them. Maybe get them to learn music once they’re old enough.

Myth 4: Screen Time is Always Harmful for Kids.

This is not a myth but a partial truth.

Anything in excess is harmful, including screen time.

Their body is still developing, their eyesight is still not settled.

By exposing them to the harsh glare of the screen for long hours can cause it more harm than good.

Regulating the screen time is essential.

There needs to be a balance between educational and recreational screen use. Don’t use the gadgets as a way to keep them engaged.

Myth 5: A Strict Routine is the Key to Good Behaviour.

Raising well behaved children involves finding a balance between structure and flexibility.

A routine offers stability. It provides the children with a structure, an itinerary, that gives them the comfort of familiarity, of knowing what to do.

While it’s important to follow a routine, it must cater for changes. A flexible and adaptable routine is the best way to ensure some structure in their lives.

An excessively strict regime can be disruptive and can cause the child to rebel.

Myth 6: Parenting Gets Easier as Children Grow Older

Really? I’m still waiting for that relax time.

Once a parent, it’s a lifelong responsibility and commitment.

If it feels easier, it’s because you have settled into the role.

Each developmental phase comes with its own distinct hurdles. That means adaptations and improvisations as per the requirements.

Parenting demands continuous learning, and flexibility to navigate the complexities at each stage.

Myth 7: Good Parents Always Put Their Children First.

Myth of parental sacrifice is what has led to most parents feeling guilty about self-care.

As humans, you deserve to take a break and indulge in some self-care. Nothing wrong there.

Instead, by focusing on taking care of yourself, you display that taking care of your health is important to you.

By maintaining a balance between caring for the children and for yourself, you can model healthy behaviour. It will also help develop a nurturing environment where the child feels its ‘normal’ to take care of you.

Conclusion

In reality, navigating parenthood requires wading through a sea of often unsolicited and overwhelming advice.

Instead of just following the age-old myths, learn to make informed choices by staying updated, questioning conventional wisdom, and embracing adaptability.

It’s for the parents to foster a resilient and thriving family environment grounded in reality, and not make-beliefs.

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