Is Your Teenager Lazy or Procrastinating?
Understanding The Difference Between Laziness and Procrastination.
Can you clean your room?
Not now.
Can you help me with the dishes?
Later.
Are you going to the gym?
Maybe.
Sounds familiar, right?
That’s how a conversation (if you call that a conversation) between you and your teen goes most of the time.
Those monosyllable responses can make your blood boil. And it’s a mystery why everything is “later” or “not now” or “maybe”. And my personal favourite is “I don’t know”. Really?
Are they just plain lazy or are they procrastinating?
One of the biggest challenges for a parent is trying to decipher the mind of their teenager.
But before you start hauling them up for being lazy, try to understand the distinction between laziness and procrastination. It’s only then you can look for ways to deal with it.
Laziness is the general state of inactivity, the unwillingness to exert any effort for any work.
It arises from a lack of interest or motivation. A kind of indifferent stupor. There’s nothing that sparks an interest in doing something.
Doesn’t matter what you ask them to do, you will find disinterest or even apathy.
Procrastination is consciously delaying dealing with the task. Sometimes they know the consequences yet they postpone doing it.
It’s not because of a lack of desire; it’s because of the deep-rooted fear of failure or feeling overwhelmed by expectations.
It can also be the result of poor time management where they’ve not prioritised their tasks and have got distracted.
Sometimes they may feel unprepared or want to prepare better to be able to do the perfect job. This quest for perfectionism causes them to further postpone the task.
Whatever the reason for postponing, it boils down to their inability to start and finish the task on time.
How does it impact them and those around them?
Doesn’t matter whether they are lazy or procrastinators, they don’t realise how it affects them or those around them.
Their inactivity makes them dull, display a lack of interest and lethargy sets in. This can lead to a decrease in their productivity and increase their dependence on others.
It can also affect their health, both mental and physical. Weight gain, anxiety, depression, binge eating, depleting confidence and sense of self-worth.
Those around them will have to take on added responsibilities to cover up for their lack of involvement. This can cause negative feelings to arise.
Once you understand the difference between laziness and procrastination, it will be easier to decide how to deal with your teen.
In both cases, it needs external intervention to inject a fresh attitude and purpose into the recalcitrant teen to show them how it is negatively impacting their lives.
You know from experience that calling them lazy or good-for-nothing is not going to help. Change your tactics, look for the subtle signs for help, be supportive.
Be patient and lead them without making them feel inadequate.
Hey, I’m Gomati Sekhar Ghosh, a writer, blogger. And also a veteran, educator and solopreneur.
I enjoy writing about the lessons learnt over the years in the different roles. I mostly explore themes based on parenting, children, and personal development.
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