// This post is unlike my usual Facebook bullshit you have all come to love and hate, so sorry for switching it up, but this message matters.

Despite my public persona here and on Instagram, I am willing to admit that this last year was the hardest of my life.

Up until 2012 I thought money and fame was all that mattered. So I made a lot of it and became jaded and disconnected from reality. I accomplished goals that meant nothing. My intentions were in the wrong place. And as a result, in 2013, I lost / spent most of what I had achieved trying to find myself. My life fell apart. I broke down. I crashed and burned. I’ve struggled to get out of bed and face the days. I hit a low.

I abused myself and my relationships because of the hate I felt towards the world, towards myself. I took some very big steps backwards in my personal development in 2013. I experimented over and over trying to find it — but the question remains, what the fuck is it? And I failed. It hurt. It still hurts.

But, I know that the people that have stuck with me and pointed me in the right direction are the only reason I am alive. This is a note to thank them, and to remind you that no matter how tough things get, there are people that still care.

People are all that matter in this world. Connecting with people provides real happiness, not just an endorphin kick similar what you may feel when you get a like or comment on social media.

Nowadays I get sad when people are mean to each other. I don’t want to be sad. I want to be happy. Everyone deserves happiness. Everyone is fighting a battle you have no idea about.

The world we live in hides the truth and it is going to destroy us unless we become more self aware. I am proof. Everyone is the same, everyone hurts, and everyone needs each other.

So, I am sorry if I hurt you or disappointed you in the past. I am really, really sorry. And I know I can’t fix some of the wrong I have done. In some cases, I don’t deserve a second chance or forgiveness, but saying sorry and meaning it makes me feel better. And feeling good about myself is half the battle.

I am trying to remember that what I think is what I become. I am still fighting the good fight (in real life) and I am grateful for your support.

I just thought I’d share something real with you before the weekend. Hug your friends and family, be nice to the world, and have a good time. Much love.

Hugs.