Top 5 Sex Moves That Put YOU in Control

It’s true that sex is supposed to be fun, effortless, and enjoyable. But chances are you’ll be missing out a lot if you don’t break a sweat. Putting a bit of effort in the deed is important to make the experience pleasurable for the both of you. Many sex positions, unfortunately, create a power imbalance where men have more control over the tempo, rhythm, and grand finale than women do. Giving the ladies more control with woman-friendly sex position can change this situation. Unfortunately, a lot of women shy away from these kinds of sex positions either because they’re not used to being in control, because they feel self-conscious, or because they simply enjoy being the passive or receiving party. Whatever the case may be, getting out of your comfort zone and experimenting with new sex positions will open you to a range of new experiences that the both of you will enjoy. So, without further ado, here are 5 sex positions that will give you more control.

1. The cowgirl

This classic position is one that defiantly turns the table or maybe not because men seem to enjoy it as much as women do. The cowgirl position allows you to control the pace and the penetration depth as well as the amount of stimulation to your most sensitive points. However, you need to be confident about your body and your moves in order to enjoy the cowgirl. If you don’t feel good about taking the lead during sex, then you may want to skip this one. But we warn you that you’ll be missing out. The cowgirl is probably the most responsible for giving the female part of our population orgasms. This was confirmed in a survey stating that 21% respondents claim that the best position for female orgasms was the cowgirl or girl on top position. In case you didn’t know how to do the cowgirl, here are a couple of tips. In the woman on top position, the man lays flat on his back with the woman straddling him across his pelvis in a kneeling or squatting position. The woman will glide up and down, controlling the pace and penetration depth. In this position, you have a lot of freedom to move anywhere you like and give yourself manual stimulation if needed. The man can lay back and enjoy the view while you take full control of the experience.

2. The hot seat

The hot seat, also known as the love seat, is a rear-entry sex position that, unlike the doggy-style position, gives the woman control over depth, angle, and rhythm. But the man isn’t completely powerless in this position. Since his legs are free, he gets more power over his thrusts while allowing his SO to move freely. This sounds like a win-win situation. There are several versions of the hot seat, but all of them involve the man sitting or even being positioned on his side and the woman kneeling in front of him with legs slightly bent. Your bodies should be close together, and once he is inside you, you can move whichever way and motion you like. Since both of your hands will be free in this position, make use of this and give each other added stimulation. The hot seat is pretty romantic for a rear entry position as it gives plenty of contacts followed by lots of touching. The position is bound to result in mutual pleasure and the power it gives women is what’s best here. Another great thing is that the hot seat does not expose you as much as the cowgirl. So if you’re shy, you’ll probably make this sex position your favorite. The hot seat also doesn’t require a bed. A chair is all you need to enjoy this position to the fullest.

3. The coital alignment technique (CAT)

The first technique described here can be said to give your partner more control over your orgasms than. But it depends on how you look at it. The coital alignment technique is a fancy term for when a man rubs a woman’s clitoris with his pubic bone during sex. You’ve probably heard of this technique before as it is popularly called grinding the corn. But how exactly do you do the CAT? Well, it’s quite simple. You just need to get into the standard missionary position and tell you, man, to move into rocking motions instead of the usual thrusting. To put it simply, the CAT involves grinding against your pubic bone instead of the old’ in and out. This sex technique was developed by researcher Edward Eichel in the 1980s when he published a research paper on why and how this technique is bound to bring women to an orgasm. The technique is perfect for mutual enjoyment as it gives control to both partners. Women can move easily in this position and enjoy the act thanks to the clitoral stimulation this technique offers. Men can get more control over their ejaculation time because there is less thrusting involved. Men with premature ejaculation may feel more confident with this type of technique, so if you think that you’re a perfect candidate, give the CAT a try.

4. The Lotus

The lotus sex position is probably one of the most intimate sex positions out there. But keep in mind that the position requires a bit of flexibility and strength on your side. If you feel like you’re straining too much during the position, you may want to try some easier option because there’s no point in doing a sex position that will result in strained muscles. To do the lotus, the man needs to sit with his legs crossed or spread in front of him. The woman sits down on the man’s crotch, wrapping her arms around him and her legs behind his back. Your man needs to hold on to you firmly and pull you as near to himself as possible. Now, you will start grinding and rocking but don’t attempt to thrust because there’s no chance you can do that in this position. The lotus position is described in the Kama Sutra and is one to create greater levels of intimacy. The position also gives more of a clitoral and g-spot stimulation than anything else making it perfect for the woman. Because movement is limited in this position, you get to meditate and enjoy the intricate details of lovemaking you may have missed during the more “active” sex positions.

5. The sixty-nine

If you’re feeling particularly experimental, then give the classic 69 position a try. This position gives both you and your SO much control not only over your orgasms but theirs as well. Whoever invented this position is a genius because when it comes to oral sex, there was always the problem of just one party being the receiver and the other a giver. The 69 has solved this problem, and everyone gets to enjoy the joys of oral sex at the same time. If you’re not weirded out by this position, then definitely give it a try. Problems you may encounter when experimenting with the 69 may include when the two of you are not a similar height; when you can’t focus on your pleasure when giving oral sex; if you think the position looks clumsy, and you can’t communicate with your partner because they’re busy on the other side. Yes, the 69 is not everyone’s cup of tea, but those who’ve mastered this difficult and kinky position get to enjoy sex on a whole different level. If you need more convincing on why you should improve your sex life with the 69, one study found that oral sex was strongly associated with a stronger immune system and fewer endometritis incidences in women.


With so many positions to choose from, it comes a bit as a surprise that a great number of women don’t orgasm as often as they would like to. The positions and techniques listed here are a few examples of sex positions that are great for both partners, but mostly for the ladies. They give the female part better control during lovemaking, and this means guaranteed orgasms. But the positions are also playful and can give your lovemaking more variety if you’re feeling experimental. If you feel confident about trying out these techniques, then go ahead and give them a try.