Learning to Love Me

One of the biggest things I’ve been doing lately is trying to learn to love and be kind to myself. And it’s no easy task, especially with that wee dark monster in your ear telling you otherwise.

Learning to be kind to me has involved a whole lot of things, so I’ll come back to some more specifics at a later date.

But for someone who likes to be busy, likes to have deadlines and doesn’t like to be off work, I’ve been on a steep learning curve lately with 10 weeks off work and now a phased return.

The time off work was basically filled with me learning about what my limits were and trying to adapt to these. The physical side effects of depression combined with the effects of my suicide attempt required some getting used to.

The biggest thing has been to learn to manage my fatigue. Not doing too much on a good day and not feeling bad about resting more on a bad day (but not falling into the trap of sleeping all day to avoid it).

I’ve learned

  • (Try) not to feel guilty about turning down a friend’s offer to do something if I need a rest.
  • Having an afternoon nap is OK (as long as it is only a nap) – I’ve found napping on the couch is best, as it will become a sleep rather than a nap if I go to bed.
  • Doing less than normal is normal
  • It’s OK to not be OK.

After last week’s post with music from Belle and Sebastian, I’ve decided to link to some of my music favourite songs of each week which are keeping me going.

This week’s favourite:

My guilty pleasure — Shake it Off by Taylor Swift (but obviously best as performed by The Rock)