My Unfiltered Life

This week has seen the start of a really interesting and, in my opinion, fantastic campaign by See Me Scotland to encourage people to be honest about what daily life is like on social media and show their life free of filters and the need to seem perfect.

See Me do a lot of fantastic work to help reduce stigma and as I work in the same sector, I’ve been following their work for quite some time. It’s great that there’s an organisation out there dedicated to showing that mental illness isn’t that uncommon and it certainly shouldn’t be taboo. Being open and honest about my mental illness over the past few months I’m sure has been a massive contributor to where I am at now. It really is important to me to be as open and honest as possible about how I am feeling, I know now that it makes a difference in my ability to manage my moods and bad days if I speak about them. Other people can help me put things in to perspective if I am struggling to do so and only seeing the negatives.

#Myunfilteredlife has seen some incredible and really emotional stories being shared about people’s lives and the challenges they face day to day, but also the fact that they are still here, fighting and are survivors. It’s really helpful for me to see this, to know I am not alone, and that if others can do it I can too.

It’s also been great for me to be able to share what life is really like for me at times and I shared a couple of pictures. It’s actually been a good week for me to do this as it’s not been the best week — it is a good time to show what really goes on behind the scenes in my life, and that it’s not all fun times and dog pictures!

The reality of depression — being tired all of the time but struggling to sleep.

It gave me the opportunity to be completely honest about what my depression does to me, especially on a dark day. Monday was particularly difficult and I could barely get myself dressed, never mind actually get to the office. But the incredible thing was that I could never have done a few months ago was I actually did some work at home. I was tired, and I was incredibly slow, but I did work!

#myunfilteredlife this was me on Monday. Monday was a bad day, a dark day. I was a mess, physically and mentally after a busy weekend. I couldn’t handle everything that would be required to get to the office. So I worked at home. I couldn’t be bothered brushing my hair. I didn’t even manage to fully get out of my pyjamas — I put jeans on so I looked vaguely presentable. I went in the car with my husband to get tea and I couldn’t even be bothered to put socks and shoes on. However, this is far better than my worst days a few months ago when I couldn’t have even comprehended doing any work. I may not have got fully dressed and I may not have made it to the office, but I did do some work and I did eat and I did leave the house.

Really what has been great about this campaign is that it has shown that it is okay not to be okay, life is not perfect for anybody. It was a challenge to post the above pictures and show people what it’s truly like and how I look when I’ve not done my hair and when I have no make up on (or last night’s make up is still on!). But it’s been good for me, it’s an extra step in being honest about what life is like with depression.

Friday’s Music

Idioteque — Radiohead

I still love this song, it reminds me of being a teenager and hanging out with my best friend Andrew and him doing some incredible dancing to this at parties!