A CEO’s Purpose

It’s 4:30am in Atlanta and I can’t sleep.

I’m sure that’s not earth-shattering news. Lots of business travelers find it hard to sleep in a strange bed, in a strange city, in a strange timezone.

But this is different. Maybe not earth-shattering, but it is definitely shaking something loose in my soul. Maybe some lost piece of knowledge. I’m not sure, but I know there is something not quite right this morning.

So I get up. I do the usual morning routine (shit, shower, shave…pick two).

I go to the hotel gym. I make some coffee. I turn on my newly created “Prayer” playlist. I pray.

I search for and find the Gideon’s Bible. I pick it up. It looks old. It’s completely unused, brand new even, maybe never even opened. Yet somehow it looks old. It looks like it should have wrinkles on every page.

It’s next to a cool looking magazine. It’s new. On the cover is a movie star I’ve seen before. No idea what his name is, but he looks like a cool guy. He looks like he has a good life. From my vantage point, I assume it’s an easy life. He looks happy. He looks fit. He looks new. He looks like someone I could look up to. I pick up the magazine.

In my hand are two stories.

One took 1,500 years and 40 authors to write. One did not.

One tells the story of a man whose life is happy, fit, new. One does not.

One is new. One is timeless.

I sat down and opened the old one.

Ephesians. For some unknown reason, I decide to start reading out loud. Chapter 1.

I can’t do it justice. Just go read it.

Chapter 2.

Verses 8 and 9.

The money verses.

The ones they teach you in Sunday school.

“For by grace you have been saved through faith. And this is not your own doing; it is a gift of God, not a result of works, so that no one may boast.”

Those are the happy verses. The ones that say salvation is free. Eternal happiness is free.

We don’t have to work for it. We don’t have to suffer for it. Someone else did that already.

I like those verses. But for some reason, it doesn’t feel like they will help me sleep.

So I keep reading.

Out loud.

Verse 10.

“For we are his workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works…”

I’m not sure why I didn’t notice it before. It’s in the very next sentence.

Verses 8 and 9 tell us how to be saved. Verse 10 tells us why we were saved.

Verses 8 and 9 tell us how to die. Verse 10 tells us how to live.

Verses 8 and 9 tell us how to be new. Verse 10 tells us how to be timeless.

Created for good works.

Saved by someone else’s good works, but created to do my own good works.

Brand new, but designed to be used.

To struggle.

To perform.

To excel.

To work.

Then I realize why I couldn’t sleep.

I’m in this big, nice, empty bed.

As the father of two daughters under two years old, I’m accustomed to sleeping with toes scratching into my back, fighting for the blanket, hearing whimpers and cries, feeling slightly beat up.

I’m accustomed to the struggle. It helps me sleep.

That’s what was shaken loose in my soul. The realization that the struggle to achieve something great is the actual purpose of our lives; it’s why we were created.

It makes me realize I’m doing something important.

This trip is important.

My work is important.

Maybe it isn’t new, but it is timeless.

Maybe that’s why I don’t mind the wrinkles. And maybe that’s why I’ll sleep good tonight.