Often, some people question the need to talk about what’s on our minds; some question the need to verbalise and express what’s bothering us, they frown upon the need to discuss our personal issues threadbare. “Keep calm and carry on”, “don’t complain” or “keep things under control”, we hear these very often. Yet we all have an innate, inherent need to express, to find connection, to be validated and be valued. At goodtalk, we believe that communicating, connecting and talking are fundamental needs. At this time, more than ever before, we need to be able to talk to someone when we need it most.
How talking can be transformative, now more than ever
We spoke to two of our goodtalk therapists on how talking can valuable and life-changing.
A goodtalk psychotherapist says:
“Being British and being of a certain age, I was brought up not to talk about how I felt. But it is hugely important to talk about our feelings. Our feelings are a satellite navigation system for the mind, and yet so often in British and many other cultures, we are conditioned to not talk about how we feel/feelings are dismissed. However, feelings are rooted in our value systems and our upbringing and they affect every moment of our life. It is then only sensible that we try and understand why we are feeling a certain way.”
Talking to us (team goodtalk) during the current Covid-19 pandemic, he says, “A feeling we are all faced with right now in the current environment is of fear and anxiety for ourselves and for other people. We often don’t know where to start and how to express this distress. Talking to a therapist can help us understand why we are feeling the discomfort and distress and get some validation for how we feel.
Healing trauma and difficult memories
Another goodtalk therapist who has worked extensively in helping people overcome traumatic life events, says, “This often happens in trauma. People believe that if they have been in trauma then they should try and bury those feelings and not talk about them. However, when we have experienced trauma there is a process that goes on in our subconscious minds that does not let us relive the experience because it was traumatic. We think if we bury the trauma, we will forget about it in time. The problem is that we will never really forget. Those memories are always there, even if lurking in the back of our minds. I work with clients to let them work through their trauma at their own pace, to not rush them, or judge them and accept them for who they are.”
And getting clarity…
Greg is a coach, counsellor and NLP practitioner at goodtalk, he says:
“When we talk about things we need to form our ideas as language and to do that, we need to organise our thoughts and feelings. We sometimes think that something is crystal clear in our heads but when it comes to articulating it, we may find it challenging. This is because in reality there may be a lot of contradictions in our mind but we don’t recognise that until we start to talk about it. The great thing about talking to somebody is that we get to organise our feelings and in doing so we recognise the root issue that is troubling us — and sometimes for that reason alone, therapy can be very helpful. Because we are in a confidential situation with a therapist, it enables us to take agency over our own thought process and to build our own narrative. Therapy enables you to take a clean approach to the situation you find yourself in.”
Therapy is often mistaken as being for those who are facing a serious issue or as a sign of weakness. We disagree. To go to a therapist or coach is to take an opportunity to grow as an individual, to strengthen yourself in one of a number of different ways. This is a remarkable step to take and a courageous one, in any instances. It might be that we don’t have a problem but an ambition to change and want to find out and remove whatever may be blocking that. Life is always new and emerging. We are always experiencing situations that we haven’t before and therefore to develop with the support of a therapist or coach can be enormously valuable. It is an opportunity.