An invitation to redefine how you view love.
1. An intense feeling of deep affection.
Example; You can search throughout the entire universe for someone who is more deserving of your love and affection than you are yourself, and that person is not to be found anywhere. You yourself, as much as anybody in the entire universe deserve your love and affection. -Buddha
I use to daydream of the day when someone said, “I choose you”.
I use to daydream that I would find “the one”.
I use to daydream love all wrong…
Love. A constant that we all seek in our lives in many different forms. My most recent challenge of self discovery brought me to a place of humility. It brought me to a place that I’ve had this beautiful gift of love all wrong and actually really twisted. I was building walls where I should have been open, and creating a belief that has had me crippled for years without it when I thought I did. I have let the wrong kind of love consume my thoughts, my belief system and my life. I repeat, the wrong way. My self worth was reliant on a significant other in my life to love the characteristics I hated in myself. Sounds ridiculous but it is a reality that many of us create for ourselves. We choose to have this belief that love has to come from outside of us to make us feel whole, enough, and worthy.
We have created this image that love is a feeling of utopia where we’ll be the exception to the rule, & that love is “suppose” to be this awful. That we shouldn’t feel anything other then butterflies in our stomachs, kittens purring or some shit that Disney has manifested into our minds as our happily ever after. This is not reality. Our societal norm of marriage, and partnerships are starting to make a major shift. I’ve come to believe the simplest truth from this shift.
Love is not conditional. It is unconditional. It is my CHOICE.
I am no longer on a mission to find the next project, my next filler, or next someone. Love is not something that I will spend endless hours wondering if I’ll ever have because in reality love is all around me. I know, its pretty cliche talking about redefining love and quoting the romantic comedy, “love actually”. I was so distracted by the idea that I could one day win over Hugh Grant, that I missed the better message of the film. I have love coming from me in every corner of my life. I have been blind to it because I have created this belief that if I don’t have that one person in my life to be with, I am not enough and therefore don’t deserve love.
In a society that promotes a consumer mentality with wants, and desires that leave us feeling inadequate. Feeling like we don’t have enough. That we are not enough. We are left longing for more experiences, more relationships, more objects. When in reality if I sat in the present moment and took away my searching of what I don’t have and might not have in the future. Stripped away the belief that something was missing. I would be complete. I would know that today unconditional love comes from my family, my tribe, the universe and most importantly, myself. It fills me up to a point where I don’t have to rely on my knight in shining armor to manifest into my life.
I am on a new journey where I come first. Where toxic relationships is something I will choose to not participate in anymore, create or invite. And its terrifying. That’s all I’ve ever known. With that, today I am setting a firm belief that I am OK alone. That I will be OK without an others validation. That mine is ENOUGH. Even one step further that I am the source of love that will fill my soul with everything it needs.
I choose to no longer look outside of myself for me. I am choosing to be with self.