I Had This Dream

I was a fugitive slave on a planet ruled by despotic Snuggy Bears. Their rule was absolute and relentless. They ruled with a soft, plushy fist.

There were laws you had to abide by. Laws like a Hug Quota. You had to hug 1,000 times a day.

If you didn’t meet your quota, you would be surrounded by Snuggy Bears, smiling and giggling; smelling vaguely like fresh-baked cookies. They would remove the stuffing from one of their brethren, and replace it with soap bars.

Then they would beat you within an inch of your life. The whole time, your ears would be filled with the sound of giggles and “That tickles!”

While you lay upon the ground, broken and bleeding, a Snuggy Bear wipes your brow and says: “Awwww. We still wuv you! Just remember to hug more people tomorrow!”