A Nervous Wreck

Zach Gosselin
Dec 14, 2019 · 4 min read

Every article that I have read on Medium has been extremely informative and given me deeper insight into topics that I have never thought to explore. It’s been great. Unfortunately, I didn’t join Medium to solely “read” others’ articles. I joined so that I could write, and be seen writing. Ever since I have been in middle school I have had a knack for writing. I love it. I remember seeing any syllabus for a college course and thinking, ‘please no exams, only essays…’ over and over in my head. This is what got me through college, my writing. I met my wife, and that night wrote a 12 page report on the thematic elements of 2001: A Space Odyssey in 3 hours. I received an A-. Granted, the reason I was deducted score was because of lack of research and utilizing other resources to fully prove my points, but hey, 12 pages in 3 hours for an A- in college isn’t bad. This leads to me my overall point. I have been scared to write here. I shouldn’t be, but I am.

Medium is supposed to be a free, blank canvas for which I can take my thoughts and turn them into words and have others see and think what I am feeling. Unfortunately, that isn’t how I am seeing it. I am seeing current professionals using this platform as a way to have yet another avenue to broadcast their agendas and show everyone how they can and have made beaucoup amounts of money, simply by writing! I work 8–5 ever day and I write simply for the joy that it brings me. If it makes me a little extra income, fine by me. If it makes me a lot of extra income, I won’t say no, but ultimately if it brings me nothing, well…so be it. I want to write and I like to write.

I know that I took until section three for me to get to my overall point, but here goes…for anyone that stuck with me through the past few paragraphs I truly do appreciate you. Well, I’m scared. I’m nervous. I have a bit of anxiety and couple that with the fact that I have a very mild form of Tourette’s Syndrome, you can imagine how one affects the other. I feel that I am a great writer, and my wife believes so too. Although I don’t know how much she HAS to say that, but none the less, she has an English degree from the University of Connecticut. I want to write and I want other people to see my writing, but I’m nervous to put it into the “interwebs” because of the negativity surrounding the internet now-a-days.

I want to keep writing and I have a broad range of topics that I want to cover. Everyone wants the “get rich quick” scam and everyone wants to find out how they can make $7,000 in one month writing 1 hour a week. I don’t care about that. Yes, I would love to, but I really just want to write for the fun of it. I tried to start a couple of small scale (think smallest you can think of) blogs for fun, that included me and a friend about golf, and then me and my wife about Walt Disney World. They never got more than 50 visitors and it just became an, eh.

I need to find my niche and until then I’m perfectly happy writing about what I feel like in that given moment. After all, that’s what this site is based around right? The ability to just express what you’d like to? And write about what you are thinking? I’d like to believe so.

I know that since this is just my first piece written, it’s undoubtedly going to be terrible. Most of you are going to think I’m just whining, and I implore you to let me just tell my story and let the rest unfold. I have a lot of stories, I have a lot of thoughts, and I’d like to think I have the ability to truly tell them. Between a full career in hockey, which I’m still playing, a passion for golf, a love for Walt Disney World, I have a plethora of genres to dive into.

At the start of this piece I was nervous to write because I didn’t know what others would think of me, and honestly that means a lot to me. I thought that since I have no background, no connection to a major outlet, or no history on this site everyone would ignore me. I don’t like that. I have always been very good at whatever I’m doing and to not be at the top scares me. Well, here’s my leap. I am not the best and I know. I would love to be able to tell stories and entertain others, so let’s hope that I am able to tell these stories.

Zach Gosselin

Written by

I am a husband, hockey player, golfer, and avid Disney World visitor with a story or 2 to tell.

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