So there I was, just another day in the digital jungle, trying to navigate through the wilderness of my computer, when suddenly, my screen goes dark. A chill runs down my spine — it’s the Blue Screen of Death, or so I thought. But instead of the usual “Your PC ran into a problem,” I’m hit with, “What really is a problem, but an opportunity for growth?” Uh, excuse me?

Confused, I hit restart, thinking my computer’s caught some weird philosophical virus. It boots up, and I try opening my browser, only to be greeted by, “Is true knowledge ever really attainable?” where my error message should be. Man, I just wanted to check the scores, not dive into a Socratic seminar.

Figuring I might have too many tabs open, I attempt to close some, but instead of “This program is not responding,” I get, “What does it mean to respond? Are we all just programs running in the machinery of the universe?” Now I’m wondering if my PC’s been hitting those digital shrooms.

I decide maybe it’s time to get some work done, open up my word processor, and bam, “The file you are searching for does not exist. But then, do any of us truly exist?” At this point, I’m half expecting my recycle bin to start questioning the morality of deleting files.

Enough is enough; I figure it’s time for a good old reboot. I go for the restart button, and what do I see? “Are you sure you want to restart, or are you just seeking a fresh start from the existential dread of your errors?” Seriously? Now my computer’s giving me life advice?