How to be a Feminist Lifestyle Lolita

Written by Paulina Pejka for Love Letter e-zine

The very act of wearing whatever the heck you want in a society that wants to box you and tell you how you should look — especially when what you choose to wear is this bright, this frilly and this fabulous — is a feminist act. But lifestyle associated with the fashion that we picked is demure and Victorian, with little room for rebellious activity.

Or is it?

Let’s explore how to combine Lolita lifestyle with making loud feminist statements!

The obvious place to start with is, of course, the fashion itself and carefully selecting what we wear. Milkribbon has two brooches that should satisfy your needs: the more obvious Boys Tears Perfume and the slightly subtler, but already incredibly popular, “Misako” brooch. With one you say exactly what you do with those poor men who whine about being “oppressed and discriminated against”, whilst with the other you’re giving a sparkly middle finger to societal expectations of how you should behave as a woman. All of this whilst looking incredible and having a perfectly accessorised coord — that’s a win!

You could take that one step further and put your love of crafting into making accessories with feminist statements and symbols that will match your outfits. Rings, brooches, headbands, bags, anything you might need or desire. A cameo ring with a picture of a Lolita suffocating haters with her petticoats? Yes please! Massive bonnet that says “Frill power” in glittery letters? Need! If it’s feminist, wearable and handmade, chances are that more Lolitas will want your cool accessories.

Whilst on the topic of crafting — embroidery. Who said that all you can embroider are flowers and cutesy stuff? The “Cut Cloth: Contemporary Textiles and Feminism” exhibition in Manchester had so many wonderful examples of feminist embroidery, including one showing a demonstration full of women in frilly period dresses holding parasols and protest signs such as “Stand on the right side of history”. Don’t think that Momoko would get that job with Baby if she was embroidering that though…

Embroidered frillies overthrowing patriarchy

Demos and protests? But that’s not fit for Lolita lifestyle at all, I hear you say. Wrong! Given how uncomfortable Lolita shoes can get, I’d recommend sit-ins, which you could turn into fabulous picnic outings with handmade cakes and lemonade. Lolita should not condone gender inequality and pay gap, when burando can be expensive. Gender equality is a cause worth fighting for! And while we’re at it, we might as well say loud and clear that we don’t condone animal cruelty, not even on our stuffed toy Usakumyas.

However, if you’d rather stay less politically active, why not get together with other Lolitas for visit to the theatre or cinema (I know, cinemas aren’t so lifestyle, but if you live somewhere remote you may have a better access to them than to theatres). Whether you’re watching the new Ghost Busters film, have tickets for a ballet version of Jayne Eyre or for Wicked, you can be frilly and feminist by supporting productions made by and about women.

And don’t forget to educate yourself! Libraries are lifestyle Lolitas best friend and there are tonnes of books about feminism to get acquainted with, both the history of and modern take on the movement. Some of these will inevitably discuss feminism through fashion, allowing you to combine the best of both worlds.

Photo from MsMagazine.com

Lastly let me share a suggestion that came up during one meet when we were particularly swarmed with questions from strangers. When asked “Why are you dressed like this?” simply respond with “Because feminism”… and leave them at this. The fact is, they won’t really comprehend that you might want to dress in poofy, frilly dresses instead of whatever’s on Topshop’s racks at the moment, but you are giving them a chance to check themselves and realise that people, of any gender, have the right to wear whatever they want without being judged, stereotyped, labelled, ridiculed, harassed or made feel unsafe for doing so. And that’s one of the biggest struggles that we face as Lolitas; one that as feminists we should continue to address until we can go out without having to brace ourselves for whatever negativity such outing might bring.

Stay frilly and fight the patriarchy!

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