I’m very happy for you. Slow and steady, and it works wonders. You are right — she is not slain. She is a part of you, who takes on a terrifying image, because she is wounded, hurt and is acting out in a way that she thinks will stop the pain forever — a little like an elephant going on a rampage destroying everything in sight when she is hit by a bullet and the bullet is lodged inside her. So the more terrible the “demon’s” behaviour and appearance is, we get a clue that she is so powerful in nature. If this power is harnessed with love, can you imagine what an amazing ally she can be for you! Yes, right now, she seems to be resting. The trick is to give her good rest and also to heal her pain with love. She is a part of you; you love her, she loves you. She does what she does because she is hurt and is in pain. But essentially she loves you.
I have been through a similar, and to be honest, a much less intense form of struggle, and I am in awe of your strength! You are a very strong person and that is perhaps the real explanation of your recovery. :) Your episodes seem to have been so dark, and yet this amazing level of recovery only shows the “other side”, the complementary side of your demon, your protector and guardian, who is also as powerful and determined as the witch. :) She is awesome! :)
Keep going and thank you for sharing this amazing, inspirational post!