I hate


I hate people

I hate the way they walk

And the way they love like they walk

Slow and fast at the same time like

Cars on a six lane highway

I hate people and the way they judge

They don’t listen

I hate how people are stubborn

I hate the way trash piles up on my side of the room

and not the other

I hate going to sleep in the dark

I hate how two people can fall out of love

I hate people

I hate myself sometimes

I hate the way I feel like I could be someone better

I don’t know if I can’t or if I

Choose not to be

I hate feeling selfish but

I hate feeling alone

Sometimes I wish it were just me

And maybe my brother

And maybe then I could breathe easier

Maybe then I could stop my mind from spinning all the time

I hate people.

I hate when they stand too close.

I hate when they don’t look where they’re walking

Or I guess

I hate when they don’t see me

I hate when I talk to people and their words float over me like a cloud

I hate when I’m cold and their words feel like rain

I hate when I’m warm and each conversation is an itchy sweater

And my cheeks get red and they ask me

Why my cheeks are red

It’s because

You’re suffocating me.

I hate when they ask how I’m doing,

I hate when they don’t.

I hate when people aren’t thoughtful

when people aren’t kind

When they’re not compassionate

When you see something you wish you hadn’t seen

And when you wish maybe people

couldn’t be capable of hurting other people

I hate how people make me hurt

I hate when I hurt others

Because not everyone deserves to be hurt

I hate my parents and how they fight

I hate my sister and how she doesn’t care

I love my brother because he’s young

I hate how I hate so much

I hate how i have no idea what good love looks like

So when I feel it, I get confused

when I try to love myself or anyone else

I hate how I don’t know what I’m doing

I hate making phone calls

I hate feeling alone

With so many people around me

I hate the way I used to feel so much love

Towards everyone

And I can’t figure out

How to not hate again.