Death, or Brain Freeze?

(Or is it death by brain freeze?)

You had something called “brain freeze”? Oh, you mean sphenopalatine ganglioneuralgia. (I know, that’s easy for me to say) It’s caused by rapid contraction and then expansion of blood vessels in the sinus cavities just above the roof of one’s mouth, causing the associated nerves to try to kill you. This usually occurs during the consumption of frozen desserts or drinks.

Personally, I don’t like to have frozen drinks in public when I’m by myself. I get severe brain freezes that are like the sun exploding behind my eyeballs. My fear is that if I experience brain freeze there won’t be anyone I know well enough to ask them to kill me. (It’s quite a personal thing, you know.) Then I’ll just have to suffer with it either until it passes or I die on my own, my ashen corpse an embarrassing clutter at the bottom of my bar stool.

Bartender, slide me a Margarita- on the rocks, please.

Originally posted on Quora, edited for Medium.