I fell in love with a white man, and I made a lot of black people mad.
Ama McKinley

Dear Ama,

I wish you the very best. To you. To Drew. To your “Us” (your relationship). Sincerely, I wish I could do more than just post these simple wishes for I know (at least I think I have a general idea) of how you feel and what you are going through.

I, a white man, fell in love and married a Mexican “morena clara” woman. Sandra Ivonne is unique, intelligent, not perfect, but certainly worthy of love, endearment, caring and support. My son gladly flew down from Montreal to be with us for the wedding. Her daughter and son? They did not attend the ceremony. Fortunately, we were accompanied and supported by 5 close friends. I am forever grateful to them.

Hell broke loose when I started asking (gently) her relatives to show more respect for her, and me, and our intimacy (they had taken control over our house, our belongings, our schedules: our lives). From then on, they did all they could to destroy our relationship. And they won. And they keep fueling the shame feelings they ignited in Sandra Ivonne’s soul.

They don’t love their mother, sister or aunt: they OWN Sandra Ivonne. Blame and shame make up their cat o’nine tails. It is slavery. It is socio-pathology. It is madness. But it is not a crime, so they get away with it. Break your neighbor’s window and you’ll have problems. Crush someone’s life, and you can go free. Obviously, the war to eradicate servitude has not been won… yet. And nobody seems to know what to do to finish the job. Not even me, despite hundreds of hours of research for a clue and numerous initiatives to win my life back.

Dear Ama and Drew, your freedom of love is precious, and breakable. I suggest that you never, ever, let anyone handle it for you.

All the best. Abrazo de amistad,


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