Are we going to party like it’s your birthday?

Let’s be honest…probs not.

Grace Stetson
Jul 22, 2017 · 5 min read
This cake looks like my quarter-life crisis. Yay!

As of 8:07 a.m. today, July 22, 2017, I am 24 years old (or young! I’ll be that annoying chick who says ‘chick’ and my age with ‘young’ un-ironically!).

For the past few birthdays, they’ve been fairly…mediocre, if we’re being completely honest. For my 23rd birthday, I went to work, and my boss bought me a popsicle, which was dope. For my 22nd birthday, I went to work, and got a candy necklace — also dope. For my 21st birthday, I wrote a paper for a summer class (college, what a time), bought a ton of discounted CDs at the local thrift shop and a piece of pie for myself , and then watched “Law & Order: SVU”— soooooooo dope.

And yet, I’m still not that much of a “birthday person.” Truly, if I want a piece of pie or a candy necklace, I can get that for myself pretty much any time I want (#adulting). I don’t need to necessarily have a huge blowout every July 22, asking for the hugest cake or a ton of presents. Honestly, as long as I can hang out with my friends and family and just have a good mellow time together, I am good — but that shouldn’t only happen on my official birthday, it should just be the way I live my life.

So, for those of us who aren’t really “birthday people,” what to do?

Find all of the free things you can for your “special day.”

I agree with the sentiment, Rebel…but don’t get free tattoos.

As one of the cheapest people you will probably ever meet for about 95 percent of my day-to-day life, I am always looking for a good deal or free things. The bagel store gives out its leftover bagels before close? I suddenly love bagels, and freeze them to enjoy for the next few days/weeks. There’s a free coffee machine at work? Hell, no need to buy coffee anywhere else.

All of this comes to a head on that one day per year where restaurants, cafes, and the like actual treat you to free or reduced price items for your birthday. Hell, would I have bought a ton of CDs by ’90s R&B stars and a ton of Shakespeare books at Value Village without a 50 percent discount? I mean, probably…but that discount did help a ton. Bless you, Value Village.

This year, still getting used to a new city and all that it has to offer, I will be focusing primarily on two deals I found online: a free bagel sandwich (with purchase of coffee) from Einstein Bros. and a free slice of chocolate cake (and maybe even some lemon cake) from Portillo’s. What a time to be alive, you guys. Check out other awesome options here.

Google a celebrity who has the same birthday as you and live your day as them.

Or maybe dance like Alex Trebek — he’s got the moves!

As a true Cancer, I am commonly putting others before myself (which often just means I have stronger bonds with friends and family than I would otherwise). I love fostering and furthering my relationships with other people, so having a day a year where I should be the focus of attention is…bizarre, and uncomfortable.

Hence, instead of having everyone focus on you, why not focus on the celebrities who share your birthday, and living your day like they would?

For me, that could mean: playing Jeopardy like Alex Trebek, having a dance party like Selena Gomez, dress up in some fancy Oscar de la Renta wares (or similar clothing, ’cause that stuff is expensive!), and watching all of William Dafoe’s films.

What an exciting day that would be, huh?

Host a Death Day Party instead of a Birth Day Party.

This is probably a future post topic, but I have a weird obsession with true crime, murder and death. I don’t think you can watch all 100 million + episodes of “Law & Order: SVU” without having that fascination. Alongside that obsession, I also love zombies, horror films, and all things bizarre — don’t threaten me with a good time of delving into a deep rabbit hole of unsolved crimes late on a Friday night!

I’m sure our spirit animal Wednesday Addams would absolutely love this idea.

So, instead of being jubilant and ecstatic about one’s birth day, why not celebrate with a Death Day extravaganza? (No, not the movie coming out Friday the 13th this October). I mean, you are technically one year closer to death, so might as well celebrate!

Ask your friends to dress up all in black, drink some champagne, eat your favorite foods and some famous last meals, and watch some morbid movies about death, like “Death at a Funeral” and “Up.” If you really want to go all out before hitting up the clubs, hire a hearse to be your transportation for the evening.

Get wild, y’all. But still be safe — SSDGM.

Do something completely unusual for your person.

I have continuously tried and failed to both maintain and complete a bucket list. However, as my life continues on, I either change my goals, add on new ones, or completely dismiss ones I previously had. Get married? Not likely. Pet a sloth…I friggin’ hope so!

Now, because life seems to be a monotony at this point — work, school, gym, Netflix, sleep, repeat — it’s more difficult to actually complete those bucket list items. I would absolutely love to have Casey Neistat’s life, creating videos and doing mad cool s**t on the daily, but unfortunately, my life at this point doesn’t warrant that.

Ummm…yes please! And hi Mom, I’m fine.

So when can I actually go bungee jumping, or visit a new country, or learn a new skill?

Why not on your birthday? It doesn’t have to be a blowout celebration — it can simply be your personal celebration of doing more in your life. So book that plane ticket or that concert ticket or whatever it is, and treat yo’ self!

Gather your friends and drink/dance/eat/Netflix the night away.

If all else fails, just do you. Hang out with some close friends, enjoy some decent food, do whatever makes you happy. You don’t even have to tell them it’s your birthday if you don’t want to (though that can also be awkward for them once they find out).

Just enjoy, relax and welcome the new figurative year of your life.


All in all, I’m going to make the most of my Saturday as a new 24-year-old and so should you all. Have a great weekend everyone—party hard!

Grace Stetson

Written by

Must haves: dogs, Blue Moon, and NPR Tiny Desk Concerts.

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