To Treat Yo’ Self…or Not To Treat Yo’ Self

That is the question that haunts me and my bank account.

I only hope to be as much of a badass boss as Donna Meagle and Tom Haverford on Treat Yo’ Self Day — the best day of the year.

If you know me, you know just how much I love “Parks and Recreation” and everything it encompasses.

From the waffles to the worship of a tiny horse to the nerdy-albeit-perfect relationship between Leslie Knope and Ben Wyatt, I would definitely live in Pawnee, Indiana, to be a part of this immaculate group of people if given the chance.

Which is saying a lot as someone from California who is ever more realizing just how rough the winter will be here in Chicago.

Anywho, I had a realization the other day that I felt needed to be written about for Medium, and that has been more-or-less a trial-and-error situation since I left my job to go to graduate school.

Basically, it’s this: I have money to treat myself, but I feel bad about treating myself.

Yes, Queen Britney, my sentiments exactly.

Luckily, I am not currently in a situation where I have to worry about money a great deal, which is fairly impressive for a young millennial. But I also feel that, in not feeling the need to worry, I should worry more.

You see, in preparation for graduate school — which I knew I wanted to attend since I was 16, such a nerd amirite — I knew that I needed to save up money. Which meant that going straight from undergrad to grad would be more than impossible. This led me to work for two years in the interim, first at a summer camp, then as a nanny, then at Stanford (with additional babysitting, dog-sitting and housesitting gigs as they came).

With all this hustling, I was exhausted, to say the least. I was fortunate enough to live at home with my parents during this time, who refused to charge me rent (#bless), and enabled me to save up to 75 percent of each paycheck in a savings account for grad school and all of its expenses.

That’s right — 75 percent.

Now, for someone making approximately 84 percent more than the average Administrative and Office Support person according to NerdWallet’s estimates was pretty great…but I was still living in second most expensive metro area in the U.S., according to Business Insider.

So spending a ton of money was not going to be happening, sis.

Backtracking further, I think my issues with spending the money I have and I’ve earned through hard work and determination come back to my mom. She lived in Chicago after college graduation with her boyfriend at the time (shocking!), and has consistently told me of her penny-pinching ways that originated there and have continued to the present.

Now, here I am in Chicago myself, attempting to not drop dollar dollar bills like I’m Jordan Belfort…but I also am spending more now that I have to. Groceries, coffee, little treats, Lyft-ing, happy hours…yeah, it adds up. I mean, holy s***, who knew that life was just so, expensive?

So, what to do now?

Well, my program doesn’t really warrant doing any jobs on the side, or else I would appear to be even more of a zombie than normal. And working online or for more lenient jobs can often not lead to that much reward.

Truly, I am still fairly comfortable, but the worry comes and goes.

As my mom and friends say, however — which is advice I should probably follow:

Don’t worry — you’ll be making money again soon. Just make sure not to go crazy.

I will try to head that advice as much as I can…while still going to way too many concerts, eating out, and drinking like a fish come the weekend.

And then, when I arrive at my next job, my first words will probably be:

Good luck in saving out there, readers. I’ll do my best too!