10/100: Finding My Own Roots
Today I realized I already have everything I need to succeed.
Today’s a big day! Not only did I make it 1/10th of the way through my #100DaysOfYoga challenge, I also took my last undergraduate exam EVER! I left my classroom feeling a strange mix of emotions, including happy, sad, relieved, terrified, and tired, but mostly I just left feeling confused.
In 10 days, my identity as a student is coming to a close. And while I’m ready to be done, I also don’t know how to fill that void. What do I tell people I “do” after this? What do I fill in for that box at doctors’ offices that asks for “occupation”? I’m really uncertain about where I’m going next, but today’s practice reminded me that I have everything I need for the future.
Today was all about “roots”. It was a short 18 minutes filled with tree poses and a weird variation of downward dog, and I’m not going to lie but in the beginning I thought to myself “I just want this to be over.”
That changed within 3 minutes though and I began to enjoy myself.
For some reason, once I moved into the first Mountain pose, I felt really good. I was standing there, tall and proud, and I felt like I had total control. My body literally felt rooted to the ground as I alternated lifting my legs up and down and began moving into tree. I even “spread my branches wide” and stuck my arms out, rejoicing in this feeling of being grounded and self-sufficient.
Yes, my time at Colby is closing, but my roots here are simply being transported, not slashed into pieces. From now on I won’t be taken care of by the professionals in this beautifully manicured place but will rather have to find my own spot to settle down and grow from. My time at Colby has been all about growing and learning, and as I’m leaving here I have to remember that I have everything needed to help myself grow in the future. I am smart, ambitious, accomplished, and a good person. I can take care of my own tree.
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Grace Chandler Baldwin is a freelance writer living in Maine. She loves all things travel, language, and yoga and has an unhealthy obsession with goats. Find her at www.gracechandlerbaldwin.com.