Why vulnerability is so expensive and worth it — 64/100

Sometimes male-female relationships are difficult. But they don’t have to be. They can be difficult in the beginning when feeling out the other person, trying to understand the differences, understand that there are differences, and adjust, if you deem it worth it.

I find that the hardest thing to do is be vulnerable. And I think a lot of other human beings agree. It’s the scariest thing in the world showing the other person really how you feel, anticipating what they might think, whether they might judge, whether that even matters — but it does, doesn’t it?

It always comes down to this, it seems. It’s how open we are with each other, really, how open we are with ourselves. And so many of us have been taught to ignore the inside, the internal movements, and the end result — we have a generation of individuals who not only don’t know themselves, but don’t have a way of getting to know themselves.

If we don’t know what’s within, how will we stand firm in who we are? And standing firm in who we are isn’t about having good or bad within and trying to only be good. Standing firm is about knowing what we’re made of, how we are, who we are.

Because when we understand what’s within, we can have a dialogue about it. We can put names to things, relate to them, and release the tension and anticipation of what may be lurking in the shadows. Ultimately, it’s not the things themselves that ruins us — it’s our fear of them, of our idea of them.

Because we’re afraid, we don’t dare touch it. And we would never ever ever let someone else get near it. It would go against everything inside of us, every ounce of self-preservation inside of us.

But the truth is — the truth sets us free.

It’s simple. Our vulnerability saves us. It allows us to show up as we are, in all that we are. Fear is usually associated with it because we are showing up exactly as we are, bearing our perceived weaknesses and shortcomings to share with the world and invite them to take part of our humanity.

I have to add though — the caveat is this: our vulnerability saves us in the right context, with the right people, at the right time. Not everyone will be able to appreciate and acknowledge what’s within, what we carry so close to our hearts. Not every time is the right time — being vulnerable usually happens in moments of deep connection and being because we’re required to actively step beyond our comfort.

We don’t always have total control over these things but the universe/God are kind, we are meant for connection, we are meant for freedom, truth, and finally, peace within. These opportunities will always avail themselves to us because, truth is, vulnerability really truly begins with self — how willing and open we are to ourselves.

It all begins with self-reflection, looking within. As we start answering the tough questions, we’ll find that self-compassion is our friend and love is always the answer. Some might look down on this as too soft, too out there, too intangible — but if we look at all of our intent on everything we say, do, want, and live, we desire, yearn for, are meant for love. It’s not nonsensical, it’s not silly, it’s not woo-woo. It’s simple truth.

And the truth — it sets us free.

We want love and the cost, sometimes, is vulnerability. Are we willing to pay the price, to get real with ourselves? Because until we do, we will never, or very unlikely know our worth, our purpose, and our who we are. Vulnerability is expensive because the return is extremely high. It’s the essence of life and our being.


Originally published at gracejyk.com on July 18, 2017.

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