I’M NOT THAT GOOD
I don’t know if you are here, but I am.
I’ve seen myself do it a lot of times and I have no idea why I do it. I just do it. It comes a bit too natural and yet feels a bit weird. Natural should never be weird. (well except for teething. That has got to be the most painful natural in the world.)
So, someone asks you to clean up a room, you have a diploma in housekeeping, but you still go all “I don’t know, it might not be what you want.” Why in heaven do we do this? We feel more comfortable driving down our abilities and yet we get angry when we don’t get more opportunities to act them out. There are two types of people in this world. (or maybe three).;
1. The ‘I’m not that good’ type
2. The ‘of course I can do it’ type.
3. And maybe the ‘I know a bit about that’ type
I’m generally in the first category. I apologize for my art a lot. Before I share you one of my write ups, I could give you five solid reasons why it’s not going to end up being the best thing you’ve read in a while. It comes natural for me to give you no chance to be disappointed in me. Maybe that’s why I do it. I feel obligated to be kind. Overly kind. And I also feel I need to protect my self esteem. If I write well, but you think its trash, apologizing for it ahead of time makes you think well, this is good trash. Or if I write trash and you have a solid expectation of my abilities, telling you its trash ahead makes you wonder, if this is trash, then good will be awesome!
I think I nailed it right there. When we say those degrading things about our abilities, we are doing it because we want to protect our self from the goggling of consumers. It’s also an advanced way of lying. So stop lying I guess. No one expects you to be the Michelangelo of your art, all you are expected to is hone your skill the best way you know how to. Don’t cheat yourself out of getting the right feed backs from people.
If you know how to sing, sing. Stop apologizing for the way your voice is about to sound because you’ve not had enough water to drink. Sing first. Let the world be the judge of that!
So you know how to speak, but unfortunately you are Nigerian, probably from a certain state in the south west, and you have issues pronouncing the ‘v and F’ sound, speak first, and let people tell you they discovered that while you spoke, stop telling them what to look for. You’ll be shocked no one else is listening for the flaws.
I’ve not forgotten the second set of people though. Those are the people we don’t really like. The cocky, shameless –self –advertising unlikable person. We don’t like those ones because they are a direct opposite of our naturally, self- degrading selves. They step into a room and volunteer to bring the wall down, paint the roof and tile the floors in 30 minutes and we are still dancing around the possibility of holding a sledge.
These people are the shiny ones and we are the ones needing polishing every single time. I don’t want to be these people no matter how I want to learn to stand up to my abilities. I don’t want to be hated for being confident. I don’t want to be considered ugly for being beautiful. (you get that right?)
I won’t advice you to be these people either. It’s not good PR. It’s a really bad one.
If you are here however, you might want to consider moving to the last group I’m about to talk about. I’m sorry but you need to stop being a not so likable person.
The third group of people, they know what you ask of them, they let you know they know and they do it with all humility, pointing to their strength, keeping their weakness to themselves and doing what they are best in. You ask them to mop the floor, they mop the floor and because they know a bit about arranging chairs, they set the chairs right. You come in and applaud them, they say “it was no big deal, I picked the skill up from a friend” you smile, pay them, and add a bit of referral to it. That’s the right place to be. The extra mile, not the extra terrestrial mile (you know when you make yourself to be God, by listing out all your abilities, in other to get all the praise)
But we all have the right to pick our side. All I can do is advise you to dance towards the right direction really. But stop lying. Be confident but don’t be cocky. Know your weakness but embrace your strength.
Just because I think you are my friend, and I give friends good gifts, here is the link to my podcast. Click, listen, love. Sorry about the shameless self advertisement. I just really am too kind.