Failing with Grace: Introduction

Grace Thomson
Aug 31, 2018 · 3 min read

Like many others, I love the narrative of the successful university drop out or the accidental discovery. The notion that failure is a positive experience which allows us to learn and improve is something that I appreciate and have probably preached to friends in the past. Therefore, I agree with the mantra that failure is an unavoidable part of life and a necessary ingredient for success. Despite understanding all of the above, four months ago I uncovered my previously undetected debilitating relationship with failure which slowly began my journey to me sitting down to write this today.

For some, their time at university is a transformational period, for me, it was three years of affirmation. Having already lived away from home and attended a college which operated a university-style approach to learning, university was not an enormous jump. My course and social life simply affirmed what I knew when I was eighteen: I am sociable, confident in both meeting new people and public speaking, a person who prioritises (creating a combination of drive and laziness), and I certainly work hard but also play hard. This trajectory of affirmation came to a startling halt when I walked out of my final exam on the 22nd May 2018. Like many graduates, I didn’t (and still don’t) have a next step lined out but what appeared to hit me from almost nowhere was that I felt entirely stuck, unable to begin the next chapter in my life because of my fear of failure.

On paper, I was an undergraduate who tackled many challenges successfully. I gained a 2:1 in my degree, held down a part-time job throughout my studies and balanced a year as President of one of the largest societies on campus. I thought I could manage failure because I had experienced and overcome small setbacks in every aspect of my university career. However, when I was confronted with the potential for bigger picture, real-life failure, I began to view my previous choices and successes in a different light, but that’s for another blog post….

So why am I writing the blog ‘Failing with Grace’? In all honesty, I find my fear of not succeeding at odds with the rest of my outgoing personality and I expect this blog will come as a surprise to some. I first thought about creating something public which would force me to address my fear of failure after hearing people link public statements with accountability. Ironically, when I first thought of this four months ago the apprehension that I couldn’t write a blog, couldn’t keep it up, and that absolutely nobody would read it prevented me from starting anything. Now, four months later, I have come far enough that I will not allow these fears of failure to deter me from writing it and providing the accountability I need. The contents of this blog will be a combination of reflection upon past flops, my thoughts on why I am so afraid to fail as well as documentation of challenges which I will set myself. Through regularly challenging myself I hope that I will address this fear and finally convince myself that it’s ok to fail, because sometimes you have to fail to succeed.