it took me 3 hours and 3 minutes to open my eyes fully. I checked the time as my mind woke, 6:37. I checked it again, before blinking blindly at my cracked ceiling, 9:40. Maybe good things come in threes sometimes, but it took me three more hours to make myself tea, to get a shower..30 minutes to get dressed. If I take any less time I will have enough to go to town, I tell myself. I look at fat burning pills and dumbbells online…”tea-tox” and thigh toners that I would surely have time to buy before work if I hurry up…I drag my feet from the kettle to the window and I sip the putrid green tea that is going to balance out anything bad that tempts me today.

I have three more hours until I have to go to work and 300 words of my 3000 word essay written. I have three months of sun at the end of my 3 years of study, which I no longer have plans for except to see you…but I haven’t seen you in 3 weeks. You said it would be three weeks and I feel like these 3 words I am carrying for you are what are making me feel so heavy.

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