My heart aches and my chest pounds and the worst part is I don’t have the slightest idea why.
How can I feel so much yet nothing at all, it feels like I’m drowning in myself and I’m not strong enough to rise to the surface completely, I gasp for air and I’m slowly suffocating .
I feel like there is a big monster inside my chest, that feeds on feelings and at last he is full, he has eaten everything and I can’t feel anything anymore.
I have these little flashes of happiness or sadness or even love but they fade so fast, is as if I can almost feel them but fell too short while trying to grasp at them. My hands weakly brushing at them, I swear I can almost feel them but why does it seem so far.
I finally found a word that describes the pain I feel, the pain doesn’t hurt. It aches.
I can’t be alone anymore.
Why everybody does leaves me?????????????????????????????
Is always the same thing, they always promise to stay, but they never do.
They never do.
I’m having bad thoughts again.
I don’t want to kill myself (do I?)
Life is great (Is it?)
I just want this to stop. I just want the numbness to stop and I don’t really know how far I’m willing to go for that to happen…..
I’m vibrating and I feel so light yet so heavy, it feels like my heart is trying to carve it’s way out of my chest and at each lunge I lose a little bit of air from my lungs, I just want to breathe deep.
I just want to feel real
I’m so tired
I’m so tired
I feel fake, it’s just a dream. I want the bad feeling to go away.
I want to wake up
I just wanted to punch a hole through my chest and rip my heart out maybe then I will feel okay
I feel like I’m going crazy
maybe I am………………………..