My heart aches and my chest pounds and the worst part is I don’t have the slightest idea why.

How can I feel so much yet nothing at all, it feels like I’m drowning in myself and I’m not strong enough to rise to the surface completely, I gasp for air and I’m slowly suffocating .

I feel like there is a big monster inside my chest, that feeds on feelings and at last he is full, he has eaten everything and I can’t feel anything anymore.

I have these little flashes of happiness or sadness or even love but they fade so fast, is as if I can almost feel them but fell too short while trying to grasp at them. My hands weakly brushing at them, I swear I can almost feel them but why does it seem so far.

I finally found a word that describes the pain I feel, the pain doesn’t hurt. It aches.

I can’t be alone anymore.

Why everybody does leaves me?????????????????????????????

Is always the same thing, they always promise to stay, but they never do.

They never do.

I’m having bad thoughts again.

I don’t want to kill myself (do I?)

Life is great (Is it?)

I just want this to stop. I just want the numbness to stop and I don’t really know how far I’m willing to go for that to happen…..

I’m vibrating and I feel so light yet so heavy, it feels like my heart is trying to carve it’s way out of my chest and at each lunge I lose a little bit of air from my lungs, I just want to breathe deep.

I just want to feel real

I’m so tired

I’m so tired

I feel fake, it’s just a dream. I want the bad feeling to go away.

I want to wake up

I just wanted to punch a hole through my chest and rip my heart out maybe then I will feel okay

(will I?)

I feel like I’m going crazy

maybe I am………………………..