Medium says I’m a top writer. Medium knows best.

I’m easing back today and taking a well-earned rest on these laurels I’ve just discovered.

I’m basking, in other words, like a shark that’s escaped one of Gavin Maxwell’s blunt harpoons.

With a carefully extended arm — and while trying not to dislocate my left shoulder — I’m patting myself on the back.

I’m preening myself.

I’m strutting.

Why?

Take a look at this:

That’s all I have time for today. I need to get someone to peel me a grape.