Lakshmi Grama
Jul 10, 2017 · 1 min read

Thank you for writing about your experience. It is very moving and touched a chord in me. Two years ago, my 92 year old father passed away. He did not have any sons and his three daughters . I am the oldest and we three sisters asked my mother if we could perform his last rites. She agreed and although my husband stood with us and did the parts that required the changing of the holy thread, we performed the final rites. It was extremely difficult for each of us even though unlike you the cremation took place in an electric crematorium in the US in a very controlled environment. I was thankful for our compassionate priest who explained every ritual to us and let us do all that we wanted to do for our father. I am grateful to my mother who also recognized that her daughters had every right to perform these last rituals. We did it as our final duty to our father — so we could send him to his ancestors in peace. I only have one daughter and I don’t know how things will be when my time comes, but I will let her make the choice to do whatever she thinks is appropriate.

Losing a parent is so hard no matter when it happens but losing one suddenly is even more tough. A big warm virtual hug and hoping that your memories of your father are helping you heal. Take care