Your Kids Are Your Fault
There are many things in life that happen, but how often do people take responsibility for them? You are late for work and you blame the traffic. It’s not the traffic, it’s you not leaving with enough time to account for traffic delays.
Whatever happens in life people are quick to blame someone or something else rather than look inwardly at what they did or didn’t do. The 10X Rule makes one responsible for what happens in life, and being a 10X Parent will make you take ownership of all that happens in your family.
There are millions of excuses for everything that happens in life, but excuses never change anything for the better and they simply divert the blame from you — when really the blame does belong to you. Own it. If your kid is not succeeding in some area of life, it is your fault. You didn’t put forth enough effort or activity to help him or her succeed.
A father might say something like, “My son doesn’t like school.” It is your responsibility to educate your son, and the onus is on you to help him like school or get him in a situation that he does enjoy. Are you public schooling? Maybe you need homeschooling. Are you bored with literature? Why would your son be different if that’s your attitude? It is your responsibility to show him how learning is interesting and worthwhile.
With your kids, never pass the responsibility off of yourself because ultimately they are your responsibility.
Things happen not just to you, but because you did or did not do something. Think carefully about that. Even for things that are seemingly out of your control, you can still opt to take responsibility. Extreme examples could be where you are a victim, but you don’t want to be a victim. Take responsibility for it and you are no longer a victim.
Get robbed? Maybe you were hanging around the wrong type of place or trusted the wrong people. I’m not saying that things don’t happen to us, but we can choose to take responsibility for all things in life because we are talking about having a certain type of mindset here.
One mindset people have is to pass blame, be a victim, and not to own circumstances in life. The opposite side chooses to assume control and knows that life happens because of you and your choices and that if you want things to be different you have to take actions to make them different. A common thing where people “blame” is when the electricity goes out. You didn’t have anything to do with the lights going out in your house; it could have been a storm or something. You paid your bill on time and now your fridge doesn’t work and you have no hot water. It didn’t just “happen” to you, you are at fault because you didn’t prepare for this situation by buying a generator in advance. It’s your responsibility.
The excuse makers will go on: but I didn’t have money for a generator. Well, you should have budgeted differently or worked harder to make more. People who make excuses will always come up with another. As a parent, once you start approaching parenthood as being someone who is acting — not being acted upon — you will start to have more control. As a father you are the problem and the solution in your family. You don’t always have a say in what happens with your kids, but you always have a choice in how you respond to things and change them.
“Success” as a dad is a state over which you have control and responsibility.
Do you ever blame your kid for how he acts? How he acts is on you. Do you make excuses for your kid’s behavior? That’s your responsibility. Is your kid struggling with something? It’s up to you to fix. Is there a problem in your family? The solution is waiting on you. Be a man and take control, be responsible for everything that happens with your family.
An excuse is a justification for doing — or not doing — something. Excuses are never the reason for why you did or didn’t do something. They’re just a revision of the facts that you make up in order to help yourself feel better about what happened (or didn’t). Excuses are for people who refuse to take responsibility for their life. You must take responsibility for everything with your kid because it always comes back to you, and never make excuses but rather own it and then do Whatever It Takes to then fix it.
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