What is that one thing that you really want to do? What do you need to make it a reality? Have you asked anyone for help?
This morning I missed my flight to San Francisco, California (SFO) from my hometown of Baltimore, Maryland (BWI). A long, six-hour commute has now turned into a full-day ordeal, causing me to reschedule the three meetings I had planned this afternoon, apologize to a host of guests, and redefine my goals for the day. I felt so so frustrated, missing this flight because I literally arrived to the gate as they were closing the security door!
Why didn’t I call the airline sooner as I was driving to the airport when I noticed my TSA precheck number wasn’t listed on my boarding pass? Why didn’t I call the airline back when precheck didn’t show up on my digital ticket after my conversation? Why didn’t I run to the ticket counter and ask for help? Why did I stand in the general boarding line instead of asking the precheck team to help me out? Why didn’t I ask other travelers in the airport for their help to cut the line? Why? Why? Why?
Fear. It was because of fear! I feared rejection. I didn’t want to hear the airline customer care person tell me no over the phone. I didn’t want the agent at the ticket counter to tell me that they couldn’t call my gate and let them know I was on the way. I didn’t want the other travelers in the security line to reject me and deny me from a better position in the security line. I don’t like hearing no, being denied, and feeling rejected.
But imagine where I would be this morning if I simply asked for help. I may have made my flight, made my meetings, and achieved my initial set of goals.
Interestingly enough, my mom sent me an email this morning with an incredible Ted Talk by Jia Jiang on the topic of rejection. It’s well worth watching! In the talk, Jiang argues that:
The people who changed the world, against overwhelming odds, were not the people who avoided rejection, but those who embraced it and used it as their power.
Ask for what you want. What’s the best thing that could happen!? If we can face our fears, control our fears, and embrace the possibility of success, we could maybe change the world. Imagine the possibilities! Imagine what you could achieve if you could reframe the potential for rejection into something greater.
My new #GrantGoal is to better approach situations from the point of victory and work my way backwards. I am going to be more intentional with making daily asks, logging my asks and reflecting on the experience. I have big dreams of inspiring transformational change which requires significant resources and support.
Will you join me in this effort? If so, can you email me at email@example.com with (1) ideas of things that you want to ask for and (2) ideas for audacious things I should add to my “daily asks” list?
Here are some simple asks to get your mind going:
- Ask for a pen
- Ask for a friend to pick you up for an event
- Ask someone to dinner
- Ask for your athletic friend to take you to the gym and teach you their fitness routine
- Ask for someone to review an email for you
- Ask for a hug
- Ask to borrow a book from a friend
- Ask your boss for a new opportunity
- Ask a friend to go on an adventure with you
- Ask for someone to hire you to do your hobby (maybe you sing, maybe you love public speaking, maybe you bake great cakes)